Melissa Urban

How do they handle when you navigate that pushback? I think that can be really important.

How do they handle when you navigate that pushback? I think that can be really important.

Yeah, I think the two are definitely not mutually exclusive So I think the first thing that you can do as parents is model healthy boundaries for your kids So it is me, you know saying to my husband like hey, I need a half an hour of alone time I'm gonna go to my room I'll come back out after I'm feeling a little bit more refreshed.

Yeah, I think the two are definitely not mutually exclusive So I think the first thing that you can do as parents is model healthy boundaries for your kids So it is me, you know saying to my husband like hey, I need a half an hour of alone time I'm gonna go to my room I'll come back out after I'm feeling a little bit more refreshed.

When my son watches us do that, he recognizes that in this family, it's okay to say no, that people don't get mad when you say no, that mom's taking responsibility for her own feelings. So we've been modeling healthy boundaries. But I've had boundaries with my son from the very earliest age, and I have set boundaries on his behalf. So one of the earliest boundaries I set with him or for him

When my son watches us do that, he recognizes that in this family, it's okay to say no, that people don't get mad when you say no, that mom's taking responsibility for her own feelings. So we've been modeling healthy boundaries. But I've had boundaries with my son from the very earliest age, and I have set boundaries on his behalf. So one of the earliest boundaries I set with him or for him

was when you visit grandma or grandpa or nana and pop pop and or auntie kelly and you don't see them very often you don't have to hug or kiss if you don't want to we have to be polite and say goodbye and say thank you but you can hug you can kiss you can wave you can fist bump you can make a funny face you can you know high five whatever you want but you don't have to hug or kiss if you don't want to and so we had this like issue once with my mom where she was like i really want to hug like i haven't seen him in such a long time i only see him a few times a year and i'm like i get it

was when you visit grandma or grandpa or nana and pop pop and or auntie kelly and you don't see them very often you don't have to hug or kiss if you don't want to we have to be polite and say goodbye and say thank you but you can hug you can kiss you can wave you can fist bump you can make a funny face you can you know high five whatever you want but you don't have to hug or kiss if you don't want to and so we had this like issue once with my mom where she was like i really want to hug like i haven't seen him in such a long time i only see him a few times a year and i'm like i get it

But he doesn't want to hug you. And like, you need to respect that. And she did. And I recognized that it was disappointing for her. But also what I taught my son was that you have agency. And if you don't want to hug, you don't have to.

But he doesn't want to hug you. And like, you need to respect that. And she did. And I recognized that it was disappointing for her. But also what I taught my son was that you have agency. And if you don't want to hug, you don't have to.

And so now, you know, I'll come sit next to him on the couch when he's nine and I'll be like, hey, do you want to watch Naked and Afraid and like do a little snuggle? And he'll be like, I'd love to watch the show, but I don't want to snuggle. I'm like, cool. That's fine, yeah, that's good. So we've raised him in the culture of boundaries and he feels now comfortable setting boundaries with me.

And so now, you know, I'll come sit next to him on the couch when he's nine and I'll be like, hey, do you want to watch Naked and Afraid and like do a little snuggle? And he'll be like, I'd love to watch the show, but I don't want to snuggle. I'm like, cool. That's fine, yeah, that's good. So we've raised him in the culture of boundaries and he feels now comfortable setting boundaries with me.

Boundaries really create a sense of safety for kids. They do because they realize that the adults in their household are taking responsibility for their own feelings.

Boundaries really create a sense of safety for kids. They do because they realize that the adults in their household are taking responsibility for their own feelings.

that boundaries are not about pushing other people away they're about you know creating that sense of like family in a way that works for everybody and i think they feel really safe to my kid and what are the biggest boundaries you've had to create for yourself healthy boundaries for you individually separate from family and loved ones and zillions i think boundaries with yourself

that boundaries are not about pushing other people away they're about you know creating that sense of like family in a way that works for everybody and i think they feel really safe to my kid and what are the biggest boundaries you've had to create for yourself healthy boundaries for you individually separate from family and loved ones and zillions i think boundaries with yourself

are so incredibly powerful because they only rely on one person to hold them. And you can immediately reclaim your time, your energy, your capacity, your mental health, your physical space and sense of safety. Like that's an immediate benefit from you setting one boundary with yourself. The challenging thing is that if you don't keep that boundary, like what's gonna happen, right?

are so incredibly powerful because they only rely on one person to hold them. And you can immediately reclaim your time, your energy, your capacity, your mental health, your physical space and sense of safety. Like that's an immediate benefit from you setting one boundary with yourself. The challenging thing is that if you don't keep that boundary, like what's gonna happen, right?

If you say to yourself, I'm not gonna check my phone in the morning before I do my morning routine, which is one of my most,

If you say to yourself, I'm not gonna check my phone in the morning before I do my morning routine, which is one of my most,