Melissa Urban

I don't eat gluten almost ever on a regular basis because I know it really messes with my digestion and my skin and my mood. But when my mom bakes her chocolate chip walnut cake 100% of the time, I'm like, yeah, I'm on it. So I think what I'm saying here is that my boundary isn't necessarily specific to like a food or drink.

I don't eat gluten almost ever on a regular basis because I know it really messes with my digestion and my skin and my mood. But when my mom bakes her chocolate chip walnut cake 100% of the time, I'm like, yeah, I'm on it. So I think what I'm saying here is that my boundary isn't necessarily specific to like a food or drink.

What my boundary is is I'm not going to automatically say yes or no until I check in with myself and ask myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? What's the context? How I'm feeling? So maybe the boundary is like, I just don't have an automatic yes or no. It's the very first question I ask is reflective.

What my boundary is is I'm not going to automatically say yes or no until I check in with myself and ask myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? What's the context? How I'm feeling? So maybe the boundary is like, I just don't have an automatic yes or no. It's the very first question I ask is reflective.

Yeah, it can and it should. And I think, again, boundaries are a great way to start that opening up because you don't want to vomit every feeling you've ever had in a space that might not be safe for you.

Yeah, it can and it should. And I think, again, boundaries are a great way to start that opening up because you don't want to vomit every feeling you've ever had in a space that might not be safe for you.

So you can set limits with different people, with social media groups, with whatever that looks like to be able to start sharing in a way that does feel safe and then hopefully expand those limits as you gain confidence with sharing your feelings and as you're affirmed because you're sharing with the right people.

So you can set limits with different people, with social media groups, with whatever that looks like to be able to start sharing in a way that does feel safe and then hopefully expand those limits as you gain confidence with sharing your feelings and as you're affirmed because you're sharing with the right people.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Not alcohol. I never drank. Drug addiction. Yeah, just a lot of drugs.

Not alcohol. I never drank. Drug addiction. Yeah, just a lot of drugs.

I would never have started doing drugs. Really? The only reason I started doing drugs was because at 16, I was sexually assaulted. I didn't tell anyone for a year. When I did tell my family, they didn't handle it well. And they said, we can't tell anyone. We need to keep it quiet or it will hurt the family. And I felt like I had no outlet whatsoever.

I would never have started doing drugs. Really? The only reason I started doing drugs was because at 16, I was sexually assaulted. I didn't tell anyone for a year. When I did tell my family, they didn't handle it well. And they said, we can't tell anyone. We need to keep it quiet or it will hurt the family. And I felt like I had no outlet whatsoever.

They put me in therapy, but I didn't want to talk about it.

They put me in therapy, but I didn't want to talk about it.

I couldn't talk about it to my family. I had internalized the message that obviously it was my fault. Obviously I had done something wrong. And so I began looking for things to numb that experience and to numb these feelings that I had been shoving down. I tried controlling my eating, that didn't work. I tried drinking, that didn't work. And then I found drugs and I was like, this is it.

I couldn't talk about it to my family. I had internalized the message that obviously it was my fault. Obviously I had done something wrong. And so I began looking for things to numb that experience and to numb these feelings that I had been shoving down. I tried controlling my eating, that didn't work. I tried drinking, that didn't work. And then I found drugs and I was like, this is it.

Here we are.

Here we are.