Melissa Urban

Sometimes you have to live in the yellow. So this is really common with conversations around diet,

body weight if it's like really ingrained in your family to talk about how much weight you've lost or whether or not this person has lost weight or how many calories you're consuming and these conversations tend to happen like around food that can be really uncomfortable and triggering for some people so you may say hey i would prefer not to participate in conversations where we're talking about my body your body anyone's body calories can we just not talk about that

body weight if it's like really ingrained in your family to talk about how much weight you've lost or whether or not this person has lost weight or how many calories you're consuming and these conversations tend to happen like around food that can be really uncomfortable and triggering for some people so you may say hey i would prefer not to participate in conversations where we're talking about my body your body anyone's body calories can we just not talk about that

and they say yes and then they bring it up at the table because it's very common like family culture you might have to use that yellow limit and remind them hey we agreed not to talk about this if you can't change the subject i'm going to excuse myself from the table you may have to live in the yellow for a while if you're trying to re kind of change family patterns but if they agree in the moment they say oh yeah you're right i forgot then that's a win yeah

and they say yes and then they bring it up at the table because it's very common like family culture you might have to use that yellow limit and remind them hey we agreed not to talk about this if you can't change the subject i'm going to excuse myself from the table you may have to live in the yellow for a while if you're trying to re kind of change family patterns but if they agree in the moment they say oh yeah you're right i forgot then that's a win yeah

And when you do that, when you continue to remind them, eventually, right, they're going to remember, they're going to remind themselves. And that's how you change entire family. Yeah.

And when you do that, when you continue to remind them, eventually, right, they're going to remember, they're going to remind themselves. And that's how you change entire family. Yeah.

uh so frequently yeah i feel like that's not an area where i have enough credentials or experience to talk about because there are so many factors involved in people's eating habits, right? There's physiological factors, there's stress factors, there's emotional factors, there's the impact of the kind of food that we're eating and the foods that are being marketed to us.

uh so frequently yeah i feel like that's not an area where i have enough credentials or experience to talk about because there are so many factors involved in people's eating habits, right? There's physiological factors, there's stress factors, there's emotional factors, there's the impact of the kind of food that we're eating and the foods that are being marketed to us.

I think there are a lot of reasons and boundaries around food are tricky because you never want a boundary to feel punitive. So, do I have boundaries around food? Kind of, I guess, in that I don't eat foods that I know don't work for my body. but that's not like all the time.

I think there are a lot of reasons and boundaries around food are tricky because you never want a boundary to feel punitive. So, do I have boundaries around food? Kind of, I guess, in that I don't eat foods that I know don't work for my body. but that's not like all the time.

I don't eat gluten almost ever on a regular basis because I know it really messes with my digestion and my skin and my mood. But when my mom bakes her chocolate chip walnut cake 100% of the time, I'm like, yeah, I'm on it. So I think what I'm saying here is that my boundary isn't necessarily specific to like a food or drink.

I don't eat gluten almost ever on a regular basis because I know it really messes with my digestion and my skin and my mood. But when my mom bakes her chocolate chip walnut cake 100% of the time, I'm like, yeah, I'm on it. So I think what I'm saying here is that my boundary isn't necessarily specific to like a food or drink.

What my boundary is is I'm not going to automatically say yes or no until I check in with myself and ask myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? What's the context? How I'm feeling? So maybe the boundary is like, I just don't have an automatic yes or no. It's the very first question I ask is reflective.

What my boundary is is I'm not going to automatically say yes or no until I check in with myself and ask myself, is it worth it? Do I want it? What's the context? How I'm feeling? So maybe the boundary is like, I just don't have an automatic yes or no. It's the very first question I ask is reflective.

Yeah, it can and it should. And I think, again, boundaries are a great way to start that opening up because you don't want to vomit every feeling you've ever had in a space that might not be safe for you.

Yeah, it can and it should. And I think, again, boundaries are a great way to start that opening up because you don't want to vomit every feeling you've ever had in a space that might not be safe for you.

So you can set limits with different people, with social media groups, with whatever that looks like to be able to start sharing in a way that does feel safe and then hopefully expand those limits as you gain confidence with sharing your feelings and as you're affirmed because you're sharing with the right people.

So you can set limits with different people, with social media groups, with whatever that looks like to be able to start sharing in a way that does feel safe and then hopefully expand those limits as you gain confidence with sharing your feelings and as you're affirmed because you're sharing with the right people.

Yeah.