Mike Carruthers

So what is your attachment style?

And how much is it shaping your relationships without you even realizing it?

My guest is Dr. Amir Levine.

He is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia University and co-author of the book Attached, The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love.

Hey, Amir, welcome to Something You Should Know.

I am happy to be here.

So, you know, I've heard of attachment styles before, but it's not something like you sit around and talk about with people like, hey, so what's your attachment style?

So maybe you need to explain a little bit more about what this is and why we're talking about it.

And do you think, well, first of all, do you think as people listen to that list, they could immediately identify which one they are or which one they tend to be?

So I would imagine that with these different attachment styles, some go together better with others and some don't work very well with others.

Do we tend to work best with people like ourselves or people opposite ourselves or

Yeah.

I would think that if you're one of the secure types, that your radar would go off when you got somebody who was anxious or avoidant because it would not feel right.

So then it would seem that people who are avoidant or anxious would repel each other, that you would see problems with them and they would see problems with you.

Why can't people figure that out?

Are there no warning signs in the beginning that this is headed for trouble or not?

I want to ask you about the different combinations of attachment styles, how some attachment styles mix with others, how well and how not so well in a minute.

My guest is Dr. Amir Levine.

He is a psychiatrist and co-author of the book Attached, The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love.

And so, Amir, are there different combinations of these attachment styles that go together well and others, if they get together in a relationship, they're just doomed?