Mike Owens

Pair of jeans up your asshole? You know what I mean? Holy shit. But you also had a lot of the retail places. If you were out there, if you ever worked retail, like, ring it up. You have to ask, hey, do you want to open a credit card? You don't want to open a Boscov's credit card. You want to open a Macy's credit card, a Best Buy credit card. You want to ruin your life? That was the big thing.

Pair of jeans up your asshole? You know what I mean? Holy shit. But you also had a lot of the retail places. If you were out there, if you ever worked retail, like, ring it up. You have to ask, hey, do you want to open a credit card? You don't want to open a Boscov's credit card. You want to open a Macy's credit card, a Best Buy credit card. You want to ruin your life? That was the big thing.

Pair of jeans up your asshole? You know what I mean? Holy shit. But you also had a lot of the retail places. If you were out there, if you ever worked retail, like, ring it up. You have to ask, hey, do you want to open a credit card? You don't want to open a Boscov's credit card. You want to open a Macy's credit card, a Best Buy credit card. You want to ruin your life? That was the big thing.

And also, you had to circle, sign, and say. You had to circle your name. Circle the website. Say your name. Circle sign. Hit the survey. And hey, if you like what you want, hit the survey. I never did that. I'm a guy. I'm fucking. Guy with the pepperoni breath was really helpful. That's actually a carbonara. That's what it was. Chicken carbonara sandwich. Without mushroom. With no mushrooms.

And also, you had to circle, sign, and say. You had to circle your name. Circle the website. Say your name. Circle sign. Hit the survey. And hey, if you like what you want, hit the survey. I never did that. I'm a guy. I'm fucking. Guy with the pepperoni breath was really helpful. That's actually a carbonara. That's what it was. Chicken carbonara sandwich. Without mushroom. With no mushrooms.

And also, you had to circle, sign, and say. You had to circle your name. Circle the website. Say your name. Circle sign. Hit the survey. And hey, if you like what you want, hit the survey. I never did that. I'm a guy. I'm fucking. Guy with the pepperoni breath was really helpful. That's actually a carbonara. That's what it was. Chicken carbonara sandwich. Without mushroom. With no mushrooms.

I didn't know what carbonara was. I thought it was a carburetor. That's a guy. I don't know what kind. No mushrooms. I remember they gave them to me one time. I sent it back. I'm allergic to these. I can't have them.

I didn't know what carbonara was. I thought it was a carburetor. That's a guy. I don't know what kind. No mushrooms. I remember they gave them to me one time. I sent it back. I'm allergic to these. I can't have them.

I didn't know what carbonara was. I thought it was a carburetor. That's a guy. I don't know what kind. No mushrooms. I remember they gave them to me one time. I sent it back. I'm allergic to these. I can't have them.

I was just shopping with my wife the other day, and she was not getting stuff, and I... The woman went, just put it here, like, out of the fitting room. And I didn't like doing that because that just piles up. I go put it back. I'm going to go hang this up for you. I'm going to go put it back.

I was just shopping with my wife the other day, and she was not getting stuff, and I... The woman went, just put it here, like, out of the fitting room. And I didn't like doing that because that just piles up. I go put it back. I'm going to go hang this up for you. I'm going to go put it back.

I was just shopping with my wife the other day, and she was not getting stuff, and I... The woman went, just put it here, like, out of the fitting room. And I didn't like doing that because that just piles up. I go put it back. I'm going to go hang this up for you. I'm going to go put it back.

You just can't, like, pile up on top.

You just can't, like, pile up on top.

You just can't, like, pile up on top.

I get it. Yeah, it's just not for me. They tell you to do that. I get that. They tell you to do that. I just, as a guy, I didn't know people did that. I didn't know that was like a rule. And, like, the fifth day, I went in, and there was, like, a fucking six-foot pile of clothes. And I thought I was on my way out. I thought I was clocking the fuck out. I go to check to make sure no one's in there.

I get it. Yeah, it's just not for me. They tell you to do that. I get that. They tell you to do that. I just, as a guy, I didn't know people did that. I didn't know that was like a rule. And, like, the fifth day, I went in, and there was, like, a fucking six-foot pile of clothes. And I thought I was on my way out. I thought I was clocking the fuck out. I go to check to make sure no one's in there.

I get it. Yeah, it's just not for me. They tell you to do that. I get that. They tell you to do that. I just, as a guy, I didn't know people did that. I didn't know that was like a rule. And, like, the fifth day, I went in, and there was, like, a fucking six-foot pile of clothes. And I thought I was on my way out. I thought I was clocking the fuck out. I go to check to make sure no one's in there.

And there's, like, fucking 150 pieces of clothes I got. Oh, I was so pissed. I remember calling my brother. Fucking cockamamie company, you're running here. Fucking animals. All right, let's see here. This one's from Toddy Fick. Just say you're out getting... This is setting the scene. You're out getting new shoes with your mom as a kid. I'm with you.

And there's, like, fucking 150 pieces of clothes I got. Oh, I was so pissed. I remember calling my brother. Fucking cockamamie company, you're running here. Fucking animals. All right, let's see here. This one's from Toddy Fick. Just say you're out getting... This is setting the scene. You're out getting new shoes with your mom as a kid. I'm with you.