Mike Owens
speaker
196 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Mike Owens’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
I want to say in Cleveland or something, which we'll be coming to. Haircuttery. Plymouth Meeting Mall. Sure.
I did the haircut. It wasn't in the mall, though, but shout out to a haircutter. All the broads I grew up with started working here. Of course. Cut my hair. Go in there. It'd be three or four of them. One of them wasn't great, and you had to slowly pivot to the other one. Hot tees. Love the way a beauty parlor smells.
Yeah. This one's a little crude, but, you know. It's from Antootie's Boner Garage. $10 bows are never ever had one read. Is a garbage J.O. in a produce fridge at Walmart? I was working at the department when I was about 17 and walked in on a co-worker tugging his root. I turned around and left immediately. Jesus. Yeah, that's fucked up. That's bad.
Yeah, but these are the people that are hiring for these retail jobs. The guy who wants to whack off in the freezer. I'm not judging.
I'm not saying I haven't pulled it at work before.
That laughing no is always a dead end. I haven't. No. I haven't. No. I might have watched a selection or two. Nobody goes on the lot unless you want to buy, big dog.
Who hasn't? This one's from Ron7. $5 goon and new to the Tron. Is it garbage to take photos of all the good recipes in a cookbook at a bookstore with no intent on buying the book? Man. I can't hate. I've never thought of that, and I can't hate it. That's brilliant. We haven't talked about bookstores. We haven't. Brentano's. What's it called? Barnes and Nobles. Barnes and Nobles.
What's the other one? Barnes and Nobles is the funniest video ever. There's Barnes and Nobles, and there was another one, another big one. Borders. Borders. I think Borders went under if I had to guess. Yes, they did. And Amazon owns Barnes & Nobles now.
I could be wrong. That's crazy. But, yeah, I mean, that Barnes & Noble, you know, we would go to that Barnes & Noble in Union Square to poop a lot. To poop and to sit. I remember one time. Because they had tables. Yeah, they had tables. You could go and get a cup of coffee, sit there. But the rest of the homeless people, I remember one time I had to go to the bathroom.
So it was you, me, you, and Tom. I think it was just maybe me and you. And you're like, I'll stay out front. And I'm like, I got to go. I run in. And me and this homeless guy are, like, rushing up the escalator, and I realize that he's also going to the bathroom, and he's got the angle on me. He's got, like, half a flight of stairs on me. Angle of pursuit?
And they're the small escalator, so you can't even pass them. Oh, man. So, like, you had to get up. And I'm trying to take him at the corners. It's like six escalators. That's kill or be killed. And he got there before me. And I had to come back down. You're like, you're done? I go, we got to find fucking. I probably went over that Whole Foods or whatever is right there. Yeah.
Nah, man, it was homeless galore.
I know, but you go to a nice suburb. We go to one in the burbs, nice suburban Barnes & Noble. It's quiet. It's like going back in time. You're walking around going, hey, can I help you find anything? It smells nice. They got the starbeezies going.
You know what I mean? I don't. I'm sorry. I've never been in there. More than anywhere else, I don't think. I don't think people are specifically bossing around Barnes & Noble people. I always got that vibe. I always felt bad for them. Yeah, I mean, maybe in the city, but that's a little different. I mean, you go to a nice, quiet suburb, they're like librarians.
You should make a move on this. Take the show. Buy the show. We work for you. I've heard someone's up for sale. Also, if you're listening, Foley is interested in selling his steak. But you have $1,200 on you. Just saying. Um... This one is something I feel, speaking of retail, needs to be appreciated. This is from JB. I worked at a candy store right out of high school.
Business was constantly so slow, so I would sit at the register and watch Netflix. I made it through all of Prison Break, Sons of Anarchy, and Breaking Bad. There's something to say for those little stores that you walk in and it's just dead. And the guy, not that he doesn't give a fuck, but he's just going, eh. What do you want from me? Yeah, like, guy, take a look around. I'll ring you up.
I ain't holding your hand. How's a candy store dead? You know? Yeah, I mean, people aren't going to, I mean, I don't know. Outside the summer. You think? I don't know. What if it was in an industrial, I don't know, foot traffic? I had a lot of shit going on. That's the owner's problem. They think this kid's fault. Sure.
I'm just saying the fact that that is a great retail job where you're like, I'm just a body in this store so no one robs it. Right. And I'm just watching fucking whatever all day. I respect that. That is very fucking, that is very American. I'm just fucking here, dude. I'm collecting a goddamn paycheck.
Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know how to work the system. Yeah, Randy's not here today. I can only ring it up. Yeah. All right, this is Snake with Arms. When I worked in retail, if someone ever asked, do you have any more in the back, I would go in the back to look. But in reality, that was a free 10-minute break, and I'd just tell them no when we came back.
Listen, that is a big – it took me for a long time – Would you ever have anything in the back? There was no back. Everything you see is out. People go, no, but like... Can you check? And I go... I didn't know that. I mean, that Macy's doesn't have a back. Like, everything's out. They're not like... Oh, you're sitting on... I mean, maybe some places, but that Macy's, everything's out.
Showing 161–180 of 196 · page 9 of 10
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