Mike Owens
speaker
196 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Mike Owens’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
That's four bucks to that guy. Is that all it is? I tell you to go suck my dick. Come in here fucking making demands and shit. I'm going to make 450. No way. Is that what it is? 1% of 100 is a dollar. That's got to be 10%. Could be.
You got to be an earner. You got to be there a long time. You got to be Mr. D, X, or L to get 6%.
They don't need to. You're in there. You can't go nowhere. What, are you going to walk out the fucking DL? You need the X. You know what I mean? I'll go over to Urban Outfitters right now.
That guy owns a cheesesteak place. His dad started it. He's the son. All right. This is from Drive-In. Long time $10 dirtbag. Never had one read. Had a job at a big box store in high school as a security guard. Another kid from my school started working at the same place as a cashier. He immediately found out the override code and a list of codes for all the registers.
This was a time when starter jackets and jerseys were absolutely banging. I know where this is going. Me too. We would have kids from school. Hold on. This is a deep text. We would have kids from school come in at timed intervals, grab a stack of starter gear, and I would switch the cameras off the front door, off the sports section, then off the cashier at the right time. Jesus.
He would ring everything up. for $1 and they pay cash. There was never a trace of that person being in the store. The next day at school, these kids would give us like 50 to 100 bucks to split, never got caught, made enough money to smoke weed for free for a couple of years through high school. God damn, that is fucking diabolical. Yes, yes. That's Ocean's Eleven shit. Yeah, that's wild.
And this goes back to, like, listen, a lot of the times these big box stores, foot lockers, whatever, these mall retail places are hiring people You know, teenagers, essentially. Teenagers don't really give a... They're not morally like, I can't... They don't give a fuck about Mr. Blockbuster or whatever.
And they're... They get in there and they start seeing the holes in the fucking... In the system here.
That's sick. That's nuts. Somebody else said, I don't know if I took it, but they were just like... I currently... I work in a mall and they were like, just the... The ecosystem that goes through them all is crazy. Like I've said before, we used to do the two for 70 deal. You go in, guy at Foot Locker, you pick out two shoes, he gives them to you in a bag, you hand them 70 bucks.
I think he put 10 or 20 in the register, pocketed 50 or whatever. He'd ring you up for a dollar, whatever the fuck it was.
All right, this one's for Mr. Bevilacqua, $10 man myself. Great name. There you go. Is it garbage to swing through your local malls, Macy's, on your way to a date to freshen up a couple layers of cologne samples?
Nah, but a kid I knew did it. I used to do it all the time. I never did it.
Maybe I'd do a spritz of hairspray. I remember being with you when we both did it. We're in there like we're in the fucking beauty parlor. Hey, Dottie.
I want to return this.
I don't know. I don't buy cologne. I'm not a fucking Italian. I love cologne. So just say it's $50, and you got one at home. So what are you going to, like, go? You can't make it home in time. There's a Macy's around the corner or whatever. What, are you going to go buy a $50 bottle of fucking cologne? Just go, okay, test this. You know what? Never mind.
Nice. This is just funny. This is from McKenna. Are you garbage if your mom puts Kohl's cash in your birthday card in lieu of actual cash? That's fucking great. Know about how to spend it, baby. I've never had that. I would say yes, that is trash. But everyone in my family, big Kohl's cash. Love it. All of it. I mean, Denise is probably sitting on fucking two grand or whatever.
I don't know how it works. Yeah, he's big on Kohl's. Man, I got it at Kohl's.
Man, Kohl's to me was, it took me a while to realize Kohl's wasn't, At the forefront of fashion. I thought it was. I so thought it was. I thought Sonoma, Arizona or whatever. Sonoma. I thought Sonoma was like, I'm like, you couldn't tell me shit. It took me a while to really realize. You know what it was? H&M for me. That's hot shit. That's cool guy shit.
That was the first time I'm like, oh, I can buy. I don't have to think. I can just buy stuff here, and it's $9. Great. And I'm kind of cool. That was the first time. Yeah. Everything else, I was just wearing hoodies and jeans, just whatever I could get my hands on.
Stinks. No good. Sure. Of course. They don't even do the clothes right, I would argue. Fair enough. That's just me. This one's from Ozempic, gold medalist, $10 bozo. One time I did ecstasy, went and got my haircut at the mall. It was the best haircut I ever had. Felt real good. I've gotten my hair cut at a mall before. Not my proudest moment. We did it on the road.
Showing 141–160 of 196 · page 8 of 10
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