Mona Delahooke

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381 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Apr 2019 last heard Apr 2019

Mona Delahooke’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging Behaviors · 22 Apr 2019 podcast

And we get into a lot of trouble when we assume a child is doing something to test limits or uh you know to manipulate to manipulate or even make our life miserable.

I mean, we get all sorts of ideas because that's how we're trained and many of us were raised that way.

But we need to blow that up and replace it with the idea that behaviors are adaptive.

And behaviors have very important meanings for children.

So an examp an easy example.

is a a a pr say a preschooler, for example, maybe a four a four year old.

um who all of a sudden starts uh hitting or biting peers at school.

And uh the teacher uh will call the parents, everybody's very upset, they'll issue consequences to the child at school and reward them heavily when they don't hit or bite.

But the child is has is going through something.

That the child is having uh experiences uh related to uh something going on at home.

For example, a new sibling might have just been born and the child doesn't have words yet to able to describe the distress or even knows that that they're distressed, but it's in their body.

And so the thresholds for behavioral control go down.

And what you see are the challenging behaviors.

But if you ask the child why they're why they did something, why they hit their their peer, they will have no idea because it's subconscious.

So when that is the case, the approach shifts.

by necessity from

disciplining the child to helping the child be able to locate what's going on.

eventually talk about it, but sometimes that can take a while because it all it's a developmental process as well.

Absolutely.

And and the I think the the the two key words that pop up in

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