Ned Johnson
speaker
601 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2019
last heard Sep 2024
Ned Johnson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
If my kid strongly disagrees with me, I can say, yeah, but if we're willing to be collaborative, if we're willing to have a respectful relationship with them, which means that I'm willing to be overruled.
My daughter makes a really strong case, and I say, well, it's a good point.
I might see it differently, but her thinking's not crazy.
And if it's not crazy, it makes a heck of a lot of sense for me to go with it because, again, we're trying to help kids develop intrinsic motivation and greater and greater stress tolerance.
And so, yeah, you start with very simple choices when they're toddlers, but you need to have them have as much autonomy as they can possibly handle as teens because we're really trying to prepare them before going off into the adult world and making all those choices for themselves.
Ned, do you want to add?
Yeah.
I mean, one of the people, Edward Deasy is one of the founders of what's called self-determination theory.
And it's a model of intrinsic motivation.
And he makes this really important distinction between autonomous motivation and controlled motivation.
Controlled motivation is the classic carrots and sticks, where autonomous is an inner drive.
And he makes this point, and I think it's a really important one.
that the nature of the motivation, the how things get done, matters fantastically more than that they get done.
So as parents or teachers or educators, it's so easy to think, well, gosh, at least we got this done.
The total motivation is really high.
But if 90% of that
is external in carrots and sticks and only 10% is intrinsic, it's a terrible, terrible trade-off.
If we lean in with more parental angst or tutors pushing their parents, whatever, the kids will put in even less energy.
They'll do it because they have to.
For us, the most important outcome of childhood and adolescence is having the brain you're going to have for the rest of your life.
Showing 21–40 of 601 · page 2 of 31
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