TPP 158a: The Self-Driven Child with William Stixrud and Ned Johnson
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
49 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 7 hours ago
Transcript
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
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Hey there, it's Debbie. Today's episode is a special re-release of a favorite conversation from the archives. Unless you're a longtime listener of the show, there's a good chance you haven't heard this one before. And even if you have, you just might get something completely different from it this time around.
For us, the most important outcome of childhood and adolescence is having the brain you're going to have for the rest of your life. Then, golly, you still want a brain that's motivated to set and pursue goals that are meaningful to that person themselves. Otherwise, we as employers or teachers or parents or whatever will spend our lifetime trying to apply carrots and sticks to get kids to do what's in their own best interest rather than wanting them to do what's in their own best interest.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm Debbie Reber, your host, and I am so thrilled to be bringing this conversation today with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson. They're authors of the fantastic, game-changing book, The Self-Driven Child, The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. I'm just giving you a heads up. This is one of those episodes, the kind that is likely to spark you and challenge you and get you thinking about your relationship with your differently wired child a little differently. Because in this conversation, we explore Bill and Ned's belief based on decades of experience working with kids like ours, that the best thing we can do for our child is to give them more control and autonomy over their own lives, even if
and perhaps especially when their choices are not resulting in the kinds of immediate outcomes we hope to see in our children. So as you'll hear in our conversation, The Self-Driven Child is a book that fundamentally changed the way I parent Asher, and it has improved our relationship in a very real way, not to mention has felt so much better for me as a parent. And a little bit about my guests. Dr. William Sticksrud is a clinical neuropsychologist and a faculty member at Children's National Medical Center and George Washington University Medical School. He lectures widely on the adolescent brain, meditation and the effects of stress, sleep deprivation and technology overload on the brain. And Ned Johnson is the founder of Prep Matters, a tutoring service in Washington, D.C., and the co-author of Conquering the SAT, How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed.
He is a sought-after speaker and team coach for study skills, parenting dynamics, and anxiety management. And he's been featured in NPR, NewsHour, U.S. News & World Report, Time, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal. So I hope you get a lot out of this episode.
What is the central premise of *The Self‑Driven Child* and why does it matter for parents?
And now I'll get to my conversation with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson about the self-driven child. Hey, Bill and Ned, welcome to the podcast.
Thanks for having me.
So I just have to say, I just have to have my little moment here where I thank you formally on air for writing this book, The Self-Directed Child. It is one of those books that changed fundamentally how I parent my child. And there have only been a few of those along the way. The Explosive Child is one of them. Positive Discipline is one of them. And this is one of them. So I'm just thrilled to be able to share your insights with my audience. I think it's so relevant. And also to talk about how your approach and philosophy really applies to parents who are raising kids who are in some way neurologically atypical.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–3:25
2
What is the central premise of *The Self‑Driven Child* and why does it matter for parents?
3:25–8:46
3
How did William Stixrud and Ned Johnson’s partnership form and what expertise do they bring?
8:46–14:39
4
Why is a sense of control so critical for children’s brain development and mental health?
14:39–20:46
5
What are age‑appropriate examples of giving kids control and autonomy?
20:46–27:27
6
How can parents act as ‘consultants’ rather than enforcers to support self‑direction?
27:27–37:16
7
When should parents intervene in cases of severe depression or anxiety?
37:16–43:25
8
What practical language shifts can reduce parental anxiety and improve family dynamics?
43:25–49:02
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids