Nick Pollard

You know, so saying yes, when you mean to say no, well, that's dishonest. Right. Committing to things you don't want to go to. Well, that is also dishonest. And so when I work with people and they and they kind of realize, oh, my God, I lie all the time. And it's not that you're lying to the person on purpose. It's not in this kind of malicious way.

You know, so saying yes, when you mean to say no, well, that's dishonest. Right. Committing to things you don't want to go to. Well, that is also dishonest. And so when I work with people and they and they kind of realize, oh, my God, I lie all the time. And it's not that you're lying to the person on purpose. It's not in this kind of malicious way.

It's just you don't even recognize the damage you're doing to your own well-being. And then all of a sudden you have no free time. That's one of the things that you can look for is like, are you lacking free time? Like, is your calendar always full? If you're constantly doing that, are you low on money because other people have needs, right?

It's just you don't even recognize the damage you're doing to your own well-being. And then all of a sudden you have no free time. That's one of the things that you can look for is like, are you lacking free time? Like, is your calendar always full? If you're constantly doing that, are you low on money because other people have needs, right?

It's just you don't even recognize the damage you're doing to your own well-being. And then all of a sudden you have no free time. That's one of the things that you can look for is like, are you lacking free time? Like, is your calendar always full? If you're constantly doing that, are you low on money because other people have needs, right?

Are you prioritizing the wants and needs of other people above your own? Well, that's virtuous in many ways, right? But again, it's like balance. If you constantly do that and never prioritize yourself, then what ends up happening to you is you're broke, you're alone, you feel miserable. One of the things that I used to say is that I never got invited to barbecues when I was a people pleaser.

Are you prioritizing the wants and needs of other people above your own? Well, that's virtuous in many ways, right? But again, it's like balance. If you constantly do that and never prioritize yourself, then what ends up happening to you is you're broke, you're alone, you feel miserable. One of the things that I used to say is that I never got invited to barbecues when I was a people pleaser.

Are you prioritizing the wants and needs of other people above your own? Well, that's virtuous in many ways, right? But again, it's like balance. If you constantly do that and never prioritize yourself, then what ends up happening to you is you're broke, you're alone, you feel miserable. One of the things that I used to say is that I never got invited to barbecues when I was a people pleaser.

Like my friends would have parties and I'd never get invited to those things. They'd want to hang out with me for lunch at the office. Or they'd want me to help them do something, but they never really engaged with me. And so I think one of the core components that I see with people is that if they're truly in that people-pleasing mind frame, they have a lack of connected relationship.

Like my friends would have parties and I'd never get invited to those things. They'd want to hang out with me for lunch at the office. Or they'd want me to help them do something, but they never really engaged with me. And so I think one of the core components that I see with people is that if they're truly in that people-pleasing mind frame, they have a lack of connected relationship.

Like my friends would have parties and I'd never get invited to those things. They'd want to hang out with me for lunch at the office. Or they'd want me to help them do something, but they never really engaged with me. And so I think one of the core components that I see with people is that if they're truly in that people-pleasing mind frame, they have a lack of connected relationship.

Because it's just a masking. In many ways, it's similar to narcissism in that way, is that you can't really get to know that person. Which is why, so the way I found you was you had kept identifying yourself as a people pleaser. And I'm like, ah, you don't come off that way to me.

Because it's just a masking. In many ways, it's similar to narcissism in that way, is that you can't really get to know that person. Which is why, so the way I found you was you had kept identifying yourself as a people pleaser. And I'm like, ah, you don't come off that way to me.

Because it's just a masking. In many ways, it's similar to narcissism in that way, is that you can't really get to know that person. Which is why, so the way I found you was you had kept identifying yourself as a people pleaser. And I'm like, ah, you don't come off that way to me.

Okay. So maybe I was wrong. Perhaps. Yeah, I mean, perhaps I was. That's a whole thing. So you spoke two things that are really interesting is the value of your no. I want to just touch on that. Something I've said a lot of is that most people who have this kind of tendency aren't afraid to say no, they're afraid to not say yes.

Okay. So maybe I was wrong. Perhaps. Yeah, I mean, perhaps I was. That's a whole thing. So you spoke two things that are really interesting is the value of your no. I want to just touch on that. Something I've said a lot of is that most people who have this kind of tendency aren't afraid to say no, they're afraid to not say yes.

Okay. So maybe I was wrong. Perhaps. Yeah, I mean, perhaps I was. That's a whole thing. So you spoke two things that are really interesting is the value of your no. I want to just touch on that. Something I've said a lot of is that most people who have this kind of tendency aren't afraid to say no, they're afraid to not say yes.

And so, because that yes is what gives them that dopamine rush, that, that feeling of like, I did it. Like everybody loves me. Everybody wants me. And then, so it's that not saying yes. Like you could, you could just say the word Lima beans and it's going to make you feel like shit. Um, so it's, it's not even the no.

And so, because that yes is what gives them that dopamine rush, that, that feeling of like, I did it. Like everybody loves me. Everybody wants me. And then, so it's that not saying yes. Like you could, you could just say the word Lima beans and it's going to make you feel like shit. Um, so it's, it's not even the no.

And so, because that yes is what gives them that dopamine rush, that, that feeling of like, I did it. Like everybody loves me. Everybody wants me. And then, so it's that not saying yes. Like you could, you could just say the word Lima beans and it's going to make you feel like shit. Um, so it's, it's not even the no.