Nicole LePera

It's our unworthiness that that is reflected that behavior of.

If no one modeled even habits to care for oneself, if we had maybe the selfless parent, as a lot of women had a selfless mother, right, where they put themselves completely last and only showed up for the people around them.

And we didn't then see someone caring for themselves, setting the boundaries that they needed.

Then that voice is connected to habits in our daily life.

We're not going to do that.

we're not going to do that.

So to acknowledge the voice in our head that for a lot of us is coloring our decisions, to see the habits that are continuing to neglect ourself or abandon ourselves in the moments that we want, we have to get rid of the expectation that that voice just miraculously goes away.

I wish there was a wand that would turn that down.

But the choice we have is

In removing our focus of attention.

Right.

We don't have to sit there and ruminate on that voice.

That voice will pop up in the moments where it typically pops up.

So let's anticipate that it's going to write the shameful, critical voice will come whenever we do the shameful, critical thing that we've learned is shameful or critical.

And then we can say, okay, I don't have to sit here and think this for longer, right?

I don't have to focus and ruminate and tear myself down and replay the thing because that's only keeping the emotion alive in my body.

What I can do is unhook my attention, maybe check in with my body at that moment.

How am I breathing?

How can I calm my body down?

But also the self-care habits play a big role too, right?