Owen Gregorian

And if you can set those boundaries and enforce them, you might have a little bit better time dealing with that person.

As long as they explicitly know, you know, this is a, this is a violation and they, you call them out on it every time.

I think that's probably consistent somewhat with what a lot of companies do with sexual harassment and things like that, where if someone's telling an offensive joke or whatever it might be, if you just say, that's inappropriate, that offended me, please stop doing that, then oftentimes that can make that person change, where they might not think they did anything wrong, but

Um, if they know that they're offending you and if they know that it's going to be called out every time, then they're much less likely to do it.

Um, the second thing is to try to empathize with them and, you know, he's referring to like dark personality traits, which might sound weird, but I think it's just trying to see things from their perspective.

Um, so like if you try to appeal someone on fairness or kindness or something that might work with most people, uh, it might not work with a narcissist, for example.

And, but if you can.

start a conversation, this is an example they give with your egotistical uncle about talking about your shared alma mater, you might reduce the chances that he'll lash out at you later when you suggest that he's failing to fulfill his family duties or something.

If you can find something in common with the person, you might be able to sort of get on their good side.

And again, I'm not saying this is perfect.

It might not work with everybody, but at least it might work.

And then the third thing is it says to communicate carefully and more specifically, they're saying you might want to just move all your communications to things like text or email so that you actually have documented

what you said and what was agreed to.

Because if someone is this toxic person, one form of that might be that they lie or they gaslight or they say, you know, no, I never said that or I never did that.

And if you keep things in text or email, then you have a record of it and you can just put that right back in front of them and say, here it is, here's the record, you know, and it's indisputable.

So anyway, those are just some additional techniques.

And I would certainly say if you can cut the person out of your life, that's probably the best solution.

If you can't, then these are some things you might be able to try.

Yes, I believe so.

And I thought I heard at least one of his sons was in the UK at this point.