Patton Oswalt
speaker
1,066 appearances
7 recordings
4 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard 8 Jun
Patton Oswalt’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 5 in all, peaking in Dec 2025 with 2.
Appearances
I don't think you can fast forward wisdom. You also, and when you get older, you shouldn't white knuckle your youth. You should also accept the fact that, okay, I'm older now. I'm not the hip person. I'm maybe not, you know, no, maybe I don't have anything to, or... Yes, I have something to say to 20-year-olds, but they don't want to hear that right now. They want to be allowed.
There's something so frustrating, especially about boomers and to a lesser extent Gen X, where we always want to go, but I'm trying to prevent you from making the mistakes. I I want to make those mistakes and I should be allowed to. So don't try to, you know, when someone is in their 50s and you're in your 20s, you're like, well, let me tell you. It's like, let me go find out for myself.
Even if I totally screwed up, can't I just go find, because you did and you're alive.
Sometimes, no. There are times when I go, would you just please, I'm telling you. But I do try to approach it from the, listen, I know exactly why you want to do this because you have to, and you're probably going to experience it anyway, even though I really, really don't want you to. But I, and I don't, I don't. But spoiler alert, this is where it'll end.
And I'm just telling you this is where it'll end. And I'm only saying this because I had it totally mapped out. I saw the mistakes people before me made. I'm not going to make those mistakes. And you're still going to make them. So maybe you should go make them. But I'm just letting you know, when you come out the other side of this, I'm not going to be there going, I told you so.
I'm going to be there going, welcome. Welcome to no man's land, I'm here.
Again, there's not a permanent shift. There are still days when I see something that someone is doing and I get, goddammit, and where the fuck is that guy? That will never totally go away, but my reaction to it is now different. What I used to have was just being angry and resentful and living an enemy-centered life.
Now, I still have the initial angry and resentful reaction, but I have more options of how to process it that I'm older. And I can wink and laugh at that. Oh, you could totally go down this road. There actually is some benefits to living vengefully sometimes. Especially if you're like, I'm gonna lose 30 pounds, you motherfuckers.
Look, there have been some genuinely great things done out of vengeance. There just have been. I'm sorry. There have been great things done out of vengeance. Great art has come out of vengeance. Michelangelo's last judgment has this amazing, there's this amazing demonic figure painted with fat donkey ears and a snake around his belly.
He's in the lower right-hand corner of the painting, and he was, that was a guy, he was the Pope's Master of Ceremonies, and I cannot remember his name right now. Cesare or Cesuri? Anyway, he was tormenting Michelangelo while he was painting that, the Last Judgment, because he was a failed painter and a failed sculptor and very, very jealous of, Michelangelo.
So he's like, well, now I'm in charge of this. So I'm going to make him blah, blah, blah. And he would go back to the Pope and go, well, he's painting Jesus without a beard. And Pope's like, well, you got to go tell him, you know, and just, you know, in other words, it was his way of going, I, it's Michelangelo and I are doing this painting, even though he's a fucking loser.
So Michelangelo finally had it and he painted the guy, Biagio de Cesna?
He put him in it? They painted him as this horrifying demon, pot belly, and it's so clearly his face, donkey ears. And then he went back to the Pope and was like, he's painted me as a demon in hell. And at that point, the Pope had had enough of this. He goes, I have no jurisdiction over hell. and just basically told him, you're fucked for eternity.
Everyone's gonna see this painting forever, and you're this pot-bellied, donkey-eared demon with a snake around your belly. But again, that's a beautiful aspect of a beautiful piece of art that was absolutely done out of vengeance. I mean, Dante's Inferno is all vengeance. It's all petty revenge on people that fucked him over.
And so is Joyce's Ulysses was all settling scores with local people in Dublin.
There have been times when I've lived an enemy. There's times that I've done... bits or jokes that without saying it, it's in response to a bit or a joke that I thought was lame or like, why the fuck would you? That's so stupid. So I would go the other or, you know, what did Chris Rock say? Don't get mad, get funnier. So sometimes getting funnier is a form of vengeance. You know, just be funnier.
No, but there's way you can become better at whatever it is you are. And that's how you and also then the I mean, if we're just going to stay with vengeance, the ultimate vengeance is actually becoming happy with what it is you're doing. And you're just ignoring the other people. You know, the way to the way to truly dismantle a narcissist is just to go. I don't I don't care. That's fine.
Yeah, but I'm doing this. Great. Not what I want to do. I mean, that's the thing that I've always thought about, like, in the movie Animal House at the end, except for... Otter punching Greg Marmalard. Remember, he punches him. But that's the only actual physical revenge.
All the other, at the end of it, the Delches just leave the college and go live their lives successfully, and then all the Omegas go and live their lives, and it all goes to shit. And sometimes that's how you win, is just going, I'm fucking leaving and going doing something cooler and more fun. I don't need to do all this shit.
Well, I'm confident in that being on stage is one of the few places I feel confident. So yeah, that confidence is going to come through. But I'm also confident in accepting the fact that whatever turbulence comes my way, because I've come out the other side of so much
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