Patton Oswalt
speaker
1,066 appearances
7 recordings
4 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard 8 Jun
Patton Oswalt’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 5 in all, peaking in Dec 2025 with 2.
Appearances
And you open a book and sounds and smells and sensations flood your brain. I don't think people realize. how miraculous opening a book is, what it does to you. You're literally just, you're micro-dosing on just symbols on paper. That's fucking insane that we get to do that.
I mean, I wanted to be a writer, and I was always writing through high school. But I didn't know, like, how am I going to make it pay or something? And I just – it was just that – I was having those lost years, and I'm being kind of protective of my daughter right now, of her, because she's in ninth grade, and she goes, yeah, but this thing will look good for college.
I'm like, you have some lost years. You can just mess around. Not everything has to be for college, for the CV, for the gram. Just have moments, just do things. They don't have to mean anything right now.
Actually, yeah, I can't judge it that much because I was very driven and ambitious from a very young age. Once I realized comedy was what I wanted to do, I was driven. But it just seems to me that we are now living in the vengeance of people who just were grinding from an early age and never... Because yes, I was grinding, but I was also experiencing stuff.
I was traveling, having wasted nights with friends, just doing stuff. And now you're... But now we seem to be... at the mercy of all these tech bros and crypto bros and people that, and there's nothing wrong with like, I want to make as much money as possible. If that's what turns you on, absolutely do that. But they're now hitting their 40s and they're realizing, I don't really have any memories.
I don't really have any interests. And I think that they suspect the people that hang out with me are hanging out with me because I have a house full of toys and a cool yacht, but they wouldn't be doing this. They wouldn't come over to my shitty apartment and play video games with me. Because there's no me here.
So then they're trying to – they're insisting on coolness as if the world owes me this. I have the most money I should be thought of as cool. I don't even need to name names. You know who I'm talking about right now.
It reminds me of the kids in school that would be like, I have perfect attendance. If you don't have straight A's, you shouldn't brag about having perfect attendance because it means nothing. It just means that you... showed up every day like a rat hitting a lever. But it also means you didn't learn anything. I don't know why people brag about perfect attendance if you don't have straight A's.
I skipped school and I have better grades than you. And when I skipped school, I would either, I'd stay home all day and watch movies or I'd sneak into the city or my friends and I would go, I didn't skip school all the time. I wasn't a bad kid, but it was just like, go have a, it was really telling that, It was really telling when that footage leaked.
They called it a leak of AOC in college on that rooftop with her friends dancing and being a goofball. And they were like, that's the end of her political career. This is it. It's like... And anyone else watching would be like, that's what you do in college. You hang out with your friends. And you realize these people never did that. They never did that.
And it wasn't that they were ever excluded or ostracized. They got invited to parties, but they're like, I got to grind. I got to grind because then I'll show these people and then they'll all think I'm cool. And then they get to that point where they're like, they have all the money, but there's nothing to talk about.
They own a $100,000 rare sound system, and then you look at their LP collection, and it's the best of U2, best of Blondie. Are there any actual albums or groups that you like that the album itself means something to you? But I have the best of all their stuff, and I'm playing it on the most expensive thing. It's like, but you're not getting any pleasure from this, you know, and nobody wants to.
So we're going to have to live through that vengeance right now. We're going to have to live through. And again, I hope a lot of the, I'm not, I'm not hoping, wishing ill will on any of them, except for the ones that are like actively damaging people out of vengeance because they're angry about their horrible behavior.
And again, it wasn't that they were, it wasn't that they had horrible childhoods. They chose horrible childhoods, thinking there was some kind of reward at the end of it. It's like, no, the reward is doing all your crazy shit when you're young and 15 and have the ability to recover. And that's when you get to have your crazy adventures.
You can't wait till you're in your 60s and then demand some kid be your blood bag so then you can have your 20s and your 70s. That doesn't make any fucking sense.
When I was really young, that show was such a, really shaped how I approached just creativity and life. Because when you think about that show... Oh, fuck. Okay, that show actually mirrors our current situation because think about that show. There's two billionaire evil scientists, Dr. Forrester and then Frank, his sidekick.
And they own everything and they're gonna take over the world and they're fucking miserable. They hate each other. They don't know how to have fun. They've trapped this guy on a satellite and they're sending him shitty movies to break his spirit. And then they're watching him and the robots having fun and making jokes in their horrible situation. And it drives them like...
We should be the ones who are happy. I think it's the same thing like when rich, weird, rich white billionaires look at a little DIY punk show or some little hip hop show in a small space or people just doing, and they're like, how the fuck are these people happy? It's like, because they have a thing that they actually love doing.
Nothing makes them angrier than watching a little independently owned bicycle store. Like, that's all you do is fix bikes and you have just enough money to live in a shitty apartment and eat shitty food? Yeah, and they look at their face and go, that guy is so fucking, how the fuck is he happy? I have the most expensive Wagyu beef in my house. I have this painting.
It's a piece of shit, but I paid 10 million and that should be respected. You know, this motherfucker, like they, it drives them crazy because they don't, they never learned how to access joy. And that's what, if you watch Mystery Science Theater, that is the tension of that show. It's these two guys who are in, they're the jailers, but all they have is, They have more liberty than Joel.
Showing 941–960 of 1,066 · page 48 of 54
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