Paul Risse

I was a military brat.

So we had moved two to three times a year, sometimes when I was young and always making new friends, meeting new people.

And an amazing childhood, honestly.

I was raised without a TV, but at that time I didn't realize that it was a huge disadvantage to relating to people later in life whenever they're talking about their television shows.

Yeah.

But yeah, honestly, just the best parents I could ever imagine.

And by the time I was 12, I'd memorized the sinner's prayer.

Like I probably said the sinner's prayer, I don't know, a hundred times, you know, like Jesus, I mean, like repeating in my head, saying it out loud and opening my eyes and I was like, okay, what's different?

Like anything changed?

And I felt like nothing ever changed or shifted or anything.

I was always looking for a change inside of me.

And I want to reflect back on that now.

I often wonder if it was merely because I had a fear of going to hell because we were in a church environment that was super unhealthy and when I first hardened my heart to God and their main focus was hell.

And, you know, to a child, like the Bible, it also has grace and love.

It has judgment and it has, you know, it has everything.

The Bible is full book, but whenever you only emphasize hell, I think it's unhealthy for a child to process that, like burning forever.

I remember, I remember, uh,

Yeah, and it was at the age of 12 that I hardened my heart to God.

And from that point on, every time I was in church or reading the Bible, because we had to read the Bible, I memorized chapters of the Bible growing up.

I remember trying to look for ways the Bible was wrong and look for hypocrisy in the church.