Peter Sagal

That is what Coley says, and Coley is the new government mascot encouraging us to mine more what?

Coal?

Coal, yes.

This week, the U.S.

Department of the Interior debuted Coley, the talking lump of coal, and his sidekick, Canary.

Well, Canary is dead.

So this is all real.

You may think we have made this up.

Coley is a cartoon lump of coal with eyes and a mouth.

He's wearing work boots, a safety vest, and a hard hat.

He's very adorable.

And so is his catchphrase, we just have three hours of oxygen left down here.

Yeah, I was about to say, maybe that's where Coley came from, some bad child.

I mean, Coley, I don't know what it is.

Okay, your son I'm sure is.

Meanwhile, Coley is definitely looking at a trademark lawsuit from E. Coley, the mascot of diarrhea.

You would, yeah.

If you're diarrhea, you're sitting around with your marketing people and you're going, look, we've got to do something about my reputation.

Generations of negative PR.

All right, your final quote is from an article in the New York Times about the hottest new dining trend.