Phyllis Fagell

speaker

361 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2021 last heard Oct 2021

Phyllis Fagell’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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And her daughter said to her,

wow, have you tried asking somebody else to lunch?

Or have you tried asking if you can come along?

Or have you tried thinking about just asking one of the people in your friend group?

So she was giving her all of this advice.

And a couple of weeks later, she came home and she said to her mom, you know, I never noticed how many kids eat alone in the cafeteria.

And I was looking at these kids and I realized they probably felt like you did at work.

And so I asked one of them if they wanted to come sit with me.

And, you know, she's really nice.

And I think I'm going to invite her over for a sleepover.

So you're not just giving them that agency in that sense that there is a way to address or tackle these issues.

You're also building their ability to put themselves in someone else's shoes, which is such a good life skill to have anyway.

You know, I do that a lot in my work because often the kids who come to see me the most are the ones who have what I call Eeyore syndrome.

It's really, really hard for them to see the glass is half full.

And to be fair, it is harder for them.

They don't have that necessarily natural reservoir of social skills to draw on.

Some of the work I do with them is around very concrete ways to enter a conversation.

You

Wait until you know what they're talking about.

And then once you do ask a question, everyone likes answering the question.

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