Prof. Chris French
speaker
118 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Prof. Chris French’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So the first thing is something he calls an empathy prompt. And this is basically in your conversation with this person about why you're unhappy with their behavior. You sort of set it up by priming the other person to feel empathy for you while you're giving them feedback in this really particular way that could get through to someone with narcissism. So he gave me an example.
Say your partner is someone who can often act very dismissive of your ideas.
Wow.
Yeah. That's like a gunpowder-packed statement because it's so much about how much you value them.
In addition to this is what I'm not getting from you.
Wow.
Therapy bomb.
Maybe. Wendy, because? You love being the center of attention and people always love your story. Okay, okay. What other tips did Craig have? Craig kind of had different strategies for like how stubbornly narcissistic people are. So for someone that's like maybe not going to melt from the empathy prompt, what he suggests is this thing called catching good. So here's what he means by that.
He's like, say you think you have a narcissistic boss, but one day they do like one nice thing. Maybe they take you out for lunch. They listen to an idea that you had. You can tell them.
Yes. He ties it to like, here's the outcome that will benefit you. Yes. So if that doesn't work and the empathy prompts don't work and you can't, you know, this person's still in your life. There is one last strategy that I think we're talking about. And especially because this is something that the Internet loves talking about. And this is called gray rocking.
So this is the idea that like if you're in a fight with a narcissist, you're You basically become so still and so boring and quiet that you are acting like a gray rock. Oh.
We don't really have science here, but Craig says this is a tactic that people have found useful. The key is that you give the other person as little ammunition as possible.
Yeah, Craig was definitely like, that is something worth considering. And he also really wanted to relay to people that if you feel unsafe in your relationship, your priority should not be on using these techniques to improve communication. It should be on making sure you're safe.
Well, it's just been a good reminder that when we start to focus on ourselves too much, it can be harmful and it can actually like make you less happy. And it makes me really want to catch those moments where I'm doing that, where I'm like really spinning around about myself, my own life. legacy or what people think of me, noting when that's actually to a point where it's not helpful.
It's making me less happy than I would be otherwise. I think that's a takeaway that even someone who's scored low on the narcissism spectrum, not to brag, can take away. It's like especially low, I would say.
Even me can benefit from thinking about narcissism.
I lucid dreamed. I realized I could lucid dream. It was a big deal.
Happy New Year, everyone. Happy holidays.
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