Narcissists: Are We Surrounded?

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Science Vs 46 min 17 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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What is narcissism and why is it a topic today?

Dr. Craig Malkin 0:01
Hi, I'm Wendy Zuckerman and you're listening to Science Versus. Today is our last episode before we go on a little break to work on new episodes, which means that if you have an idea for us, something you want us to versus, we would absolutely love to hear it. There's an email, a phone number if you're in the US, there's social media accounts. It's all in the show notes. So just have a look at the show notes, get in touch with us and tell us your great Science Versus idea. We always love hearing from you. Okay, but now it's time to start the show. This is the show that pits facts against inflated egos. Today we are talking about narcissism. So, of course, I've invited senior producer Rose Rimler. to tell me all about it.
Prof. Chris French 0:54
Hey. Well, because you did the research. Fair enough. I have been doing the research. And, you know, what I quickly realized diving into all this is that on the internet, there's all these caricatures of what a narcissist is. But the reality is a lot more complicated and actually a lot more interesting. So to start, I want you to meet someone. This person is an actual narcissist. Oh. He's a social media influencer. The touche. That jump sounds very appropriate. Could you start by introducing yourself to our audience?
Dr. April Ilkmen 1:30
Hey, everybody. My name is Lee Hammack. I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist. One of my monikers has become, like, the self-aware narcissist.
Prof. Chris French 1:37
And Lee wasn't always self-aware about this, but something happened about eight years ago that changed his whole world.
Michelle Dang 1:43
Mm-hmm.

Who is Lee Hammack and what is his perspective?

Prof. Chris French 1:46
So Lee is a dad, and on this particular day, he was home alone with his six-month-old son. Mm-hmm. The baby was crying. And Lee was feeling really annoyed that the baby was fussing while he was trying to get some of his own work done. And he found himself raising his voice at the baby. And then his wife walked in, heard this, and she's like, what the hell? You're yelling at an infant. And they got in a huge fight about it.
Dr. April Ilkmen 2:11
So I told her to get the hell out. And of course she's like, okay, I'm leaving. And on the way out the door, she says, you know what? It's so damn hard living with a narcissist.
Prof. Chris French 2:21
She said that kind of like tossed over her shoulder as she walked out the door.
Dr. April Ilkmen 2:24
Yeah, super insult. So damn hard to live with a narcissist slamming the door. I was just like, wait, what?
Prof. Chris French 2:29
Because he's like, why would she say that? Right.
Dr. April Ilkmen 2:32
Why did she call me that? So I sit down on the bed and I'm, you know, don't don't angry Google. I was angry Googling.
Prof. Chris French 2:39
Yeah.

Is there really a narcissism epidemic?

Dr. April Ilkmen 2:39
So I typed in narcissist in Google and it said, did you mean narcissistic personality disorder?
Prof. Chris French 2:45
That is the medical term for someone who is diagnosed as a narcissist.
Dr. April Ilkmen 2:50
I didn't mean that, but, you know, I got time on my hands now, so let's go down the rabbit hole. So I clicked on it, and literally, it was like, boom. And I started reading the signs and the symptoms and things like that, and I was like, oh, damn.
Prof. Chris French 3:10
It was really a huge moment for him because he's reading all these descriptions of what makes a narcissist, at least according to Dr. Google.
Michelle Dang 3:17
Right.
Prof. Chris French 3:18
And he's nodding along. So it's like you think you're special, which he definitely does think that. He's always believed he was destined for greatness. Another one is you are preoccupied with yourself. Yep. He keeps reading. Lack of empathy. That one definitely felt right. Was there an example that flashed in your mind? You're like, oh, that was the time when I was being unempathetic.
Dr. April Ilkmen 3:39
I don't know if you ever seen the movie Ratatouille. So there's a scene in Ratatouille at the end when like the food critic eats the ratatouille and it took him back to his childhood. Yeah. That's what happened to me when she said that, like when I started looking up narcissism and a lack of empathy, it took me back to my childhood when I was like in first or second grade.
Prof. Chris French 3:56
He was on the playground in school. He was watching this kid named Tony climbing on a jungle gym. And he saw that Tony was going to try to hang upside down by his legs. And he had a bad feeling about this. He didn't think Tony was strong enough to go upside down. So he told Tony to stop. But Tony did it anyway.

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