Ray Oldhoffer

Like, what do you think you would have been doing?

Because, you know, a lot of people thought, a lot of guys thought they'd be doing something else when they were in the ninth or tenth grade.

And so I said, Dane, if you weren't doing stand-up, what do you think you would have been doing for a career?

And he said...

I don't know, but I can guarantee you this.

I'd be the fucking funniest guy at the company picnic.

And I was like, I didn't ask you how funny you were going to be in your hypothetical job.

Jesus Christ.

By the way, can you just fucking step back for one goddamn second?

I just, you know, what could I say?

We're on TV.

Like I was like, oh, that's good.

I thought to myself, not, not if I worked at the company and half the other guys I know, but his answer was not what he would have done.

It was simply how funny I would be.

And so it was like, it was a one, two douchebag punch.

It was, I'm not going to answer your question.

Number one.

And number two, let's get back to how funny I am one more time.

Sure.

You can't just say, uh, I was into architecture.