Richard Kind

Well, my day was magical, Hermione continues.

We were discussing Jim Hero's girlfriend problems.

In the chat box, Jim Hero types a sad face.

Why are we talking about him again, Toby mutters.

He has gathered that Jim Hero recently graduated from high school and has convinced Hermione that he is handsome, which Toby doubts.

Now you listen to me, Jim Hero, Hermione says sternly, waving her wand at the screen.

You are attractive, athletic, and compassionate, and you deserve to be with somebody who appreciates you.

Jim Hero fills the chat box with an array of hand-heart emojis.

Little shit.

Toby grouses.

Have I ever mentioned I was the captain of my wrestling team?

Toby types, unable to stop himself.

Hermione claps her hands with delight.

Well, that's wonderful, Bacon Boy, she exclaims.

I knew you were an athlete.

Was that the girls' wrestling team?

Jim Hero types.

Toby fumes.

But he's terribly slow with comebacks, so instead, he takes a defiant sip of his ginger ale.

Now, Jim Hero, let's stay away from jokes of that nature, Hermione admonishes him.