Rob Dial

You fear being maybe too much or not enough for another person. So you kind of perform and be the person that you think they want you to be versus being yourself. You try to anticipate needs of other people before they're ever spoken to keep the peace. Or you manage other people's emotions while ignoring your own. Or you're a people pleaser and you forget all about yourself.

You fear being maybe too much or not enough for another person. So you kind of perform and be the person that you think they want you to be versus being yourself. You try to anticipate needs of other people before they're ever spoken to keep the peace. Or you manage other people's emotions while ignoring your own. Or you're a people pleaser and you forget all about yourself.

You fear being maybe too much or not enough for another person. So you kind of perform and be the person that you think they want you to be versus being yourself. You try to anticipate needs of other people before they're ever spoken to keep the peace. Or you manage other people's emotions while ignoring your own. Or you're a people pleaser and you forget all about yourself.

Or you call someone over and over and over and over again because you haven't heard from them in two hours? This is how control problems will ruin relationships. How does it show up in work? Well, maybe you've got this idea of you've got to perform. You've got to overwork. You've got to overdeliver. Not to be great, but to not disappoint. You know, you don't just meet expectations.

Or you call someone over and over and over and over again because you haven't heard from them in two hours? This is how control problems will ruin relationships. How does it show up in work? Well, maybe you've got this idea of you've got to perform. You've got to overwork. You've got to overdeliver. Not to be great, but to not disappoint. You know, you don't just meet expectations.

Or you call someone over and over and over and over again because you haven't heard from them in two hours? This is how control problems will ruin relationships. How does it show up in work? Well, maybe you've got this idea of you've got to perform. You've got to overwork. You've got to overdeliver. Not to be great, but to not disappoint. You know, you don't just meet expectations.

You obsess over exceeding expectations. And the validation that you get from others at work becomes a substitute for the connection that you can't feel. And you can't seem to, you know, you go on vacation and you're with your family and you just like can't seem to turn it off. So you're checking emails and you're on your phone.

You obsess over exceeding expectations. And the validation that you get from others at work becomes a substitute for the connection that you can't feel. And you can't seem to, you know, you go on vacation and you're with your family and you just like can't seem to turn it off. So you're checking emails and you're on your phone.

You obsess over exceeding expectations. And the validation that you get from others at work becomes a substitute for the connection that you can't feel. And you can't seem to, you know, you go on vacation and you're with your family and you just like can't seem to turn it off. So you're checking emails and you're on your phone.

You can't seem to turn off because you feel like there's something else you're supposed to be doing at all points in time, right? That's a coping mechanism. How does it show up in parenting? Well, maybe you try to be the perfect parent or, you know, redo what your parents didn't get right. Or maybe you set really impossibly high standards for yourself.

You can't seem to turn off because you feel like there's something else you're supposed to be doing at all points in time, right? That's a coping mechanism. How does it show up in parenting? Well, maybe you try to be the perfect parent or, you know, redo what your parents didn't get right. Or maybe you set really impossibly high standards for yourself.

You can't seem to turn off because you feel like there's something else you're supposed to be doing at all points in time, right? That's a coping mechanism. How does it show up in parenting? Well, maybe you try to be the perfect parent or, you know, redo what your parents didn't get right. Or maybe you set really impossibly high standards for yourself.

And then when you don't hit those standards, you beat yourself up over and over and over again. Maybe you say you want to protect your children from the chaos that you knew. But sometimes you forget that chaos isn't always harmful. Sometimes it's needed to grow. Or maybe you try to control every single part of your child's life.

And then when you don't hit those standards, you beat yourself up over and over and over again. Maybe you say you want to protect your children from the chaos that you knew. But sometimes you forget that chaos isn't always harmful. Sometimes it's needed to grow. Or maybe you try to control every single part of your child's life.

And then when you don't hit those standards, you beat yourself up over and over and over again. Maybe you say you want to protect your children from the chaos that you knew. But sometimes you forget that chaos isn't always harmful. Sometimes it's needed to grow. Or maybe you try to control every single part of your child's life.

And as they grow older, you start to notice how they start resenting you for it. How does it show up in your own relationship with yourself and your self-talk? Well, everything is either your fault or your responsibility. And you beat yourself up over a lot of things. You struggle to rest without feeling guilty about it. And even your internal voice sometimes sounds like a disappointed parent.

And as they grow older, you start to notice how they start resenting you for it. How does it show up in your own relationship with yourself and your self-talk? Well, everything is either your fault or your responsibility. And you beat yourself up over a lot of things. You struggle to rest without feeling guilty about it. And even your internal voice sometimes sounds like a disappointed parent.

And as they grow older, you start to notice how they start resenting you for it. How does it show up in your own relationship with yourself and your self-talk? Well, everything is either your fault or your responsibility. And you beat yourself up over a lot of things. You struggle to rest without feeling guilty about it. And even your internal voice sometimes sounds like a disappointed parent.

Why didn't you do more? You should have seen that coming. You can't let anybody down. Any of this sound familiar? It's exhausting. And more importantly, it's not really your fault. It was what you had to do to feel safe as a child. But now that you're an adult, you're allowed to rewrite it. And that's what's really important. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.

Why didn't you do more? You should have seen that coming. You can't let anybody down. Any of this sound familiar? It's exhausting. And more importantly, it's not really your fault. It was what you had to do to feel safe as a child. But now that you're an adult, you're allowed to rewrite it. And that's what's really important. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.