Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Let's adopt a dog. Okay, okay, aren't you worried that a raging alcoholic will have access to the nuclear codes? No.

Okay, look, this all sounds very irresponsible, Troy, okay? America needs a competent administrator of its military.

Okay, look, this all sounds very irresponsible, Troy, okay? America needs a competent administrator of its military.

Okay, hey, hey, you take that back, okay? I am party girl. I am party girl. Troy Wilder, everybody. Hey, when we come back, we'll fight about sports, so don't go away.

Okay, hey, hey, you take that back, okay? I am party girl. I am party girl. Troy Wilder, everybody. Hey, when we come back, we'll fight about sports, so don't go away.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. As we witness the dismantling of American democracy, let's take a moment to focus on what people really care about, sports. For a full recap of the brightest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. As we witness the dismantling of American democracy, let's take a moment to focus on what people really care about, sports. For a full recap of the brightest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Didn't you have three roommates kill themselves?

Didn't you have three roommates kill themselves?

Okay, Jordan, it's a shame you're not handsome because you're very stupid, okay? Reckless fighting should only happen during the game. That's the violence I'm gambling on. If you have the energy to fight after, that means you didn't play hard enough.

Okay, Jordan, it's a shame you're not handsome because you're very stupid, okay? Reckless fighting should only happen during the game. That's the violence I'm gambling on. If you have the energy to fight after, that means you didn't play hard enough.

Which brings us to our sick boom-bang bet of the night. When will Jordan Klepper finally learn the names of his three children? As always, this bet brought to you by gambling. Gambling. I think your mom has some money in her purse.

Which brings us to our sick boom-bang bet of the night. When will Jordan Klepper finally learn the names of his three children? As always, this bet brought to you by gambling. Gambling. I think your mom has some money in her purse.

Oh, just stop it with this, okay? I live by two rules. One, I do not mix politics and sports. And two, if I'm watching porn and they start speaking Russian, I'm out. The least I can do to support Ukraine.

Oh, just stop it with this, okay? I live by two rules. One, I do not mix politics and sports. And two, if I'm watching porn and they start speaking Russian, I'm out. The least I can do to support Ukraine.

Who's gonna hate on that? I hate it, okay? We need to keep politics out of sports. Sunday is for drinking eight beers and watching football. Drinking eight beers and watching Rachel Maddow? That's a Monday thing.

Who's gonna hate on that? I hate it, okay? We need to keep politics out of sports. Sunday is for drinking eight beers and watching football. Drinking eight beers and watching Rachel Maddow? That's a Monday thing.

Gambling. You need something to do alone in your car.

Gambling. You need something to do alone in your car.

Merry Christmas, Jordan.