Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)
speaker
1,179 appearances
40 recordings
3 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Jun 2025
Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Isn't sports more fun when you wait five minutes for all the facts to make an informed decision instead of reacting to everything with blind passion?
Trevor, everyone's being very alarmist about this, all right? Dude, this is America. As though they're gonna stop baseball. It's gonna come back. Of course they're gonna find an agreement. Oh, what's the alternative? They're just gonna never play baseball again? Of course it's gonna happen. This is like a, it's like an encore at a Billy Joel concert. You know he's gonna play piano, man.
Just calm the down. Just wait. There's no patience here in America. We love baseball, but we don't like patience, which is ironic, because it's the game you need the most patience for, because it's long.
Welcome to The Daily Show. I'm Roy Chang. We got so much to talk about tonight. The legendary Bill Murray is in the house. But first, we're still 19 months away from the 2026 midterms, but I know there's some absolute freaks out there who need an election sooner than that. 19 months is too long, man. I need something right now. I'll suck your for an exit poll.
Well, meet me in the studio after the show. Meet me behind the studio because I got a quick fix for you. Let's get into it with Indecision 2025, locally sourced edition. This Tuesday, there's an election for a seat on the Wisconsin Supreme Court, and I know what you coastal elites are thinking. So what?
They'll rule on, what, whether it's legal to marry your cheese or whatever the issues are in Wisconsin? Well, yes, that is part of it, but also, it will determine whether abortion is legal in Wisconsin and how to redraw election districts, which could even determine which party controls Congress. And that's why the weather report for Wisconsin is...
Now, I know $20 million sounds like a lot, but remember that Elon has over $300 billion. $20 million is like one of his kids. It means nothing to him. But... Yes, this race has turned into a billionaire royal rumble. I mean, they're spending $100 million, which is obscene.
I mean, you know, for that kind of money, you could have bought tens of thousands of Wisconsin residents their first ever salad. Instead, they're spending it on ads like this.
Because for me watching this on the outside, I'm like, should the rest of us put a wall up around Wisconsin to keep all the pedophiles in there? I mean, I know it'll trap the kids in there too, but the kids are probably also pedophiles, so it should be fine.
I mean, there's so many pedophiles that if you wanna win, you should probably be making pro-pedophile ads because it seems like it's a big constituency over there. Like, why don't you do some outreach? But hey, I guess this is the story of American elections. Way too much money paying for way too many negative ads.
In fact, Elon Musk is spending so much money on attack ads, he's not even paying attention to who the ads are attacking.
Okay, to be fair, if I'm ever talking to a white woman over 50 and I forget her name, I just call her Susan Crawford. And I'm usually right like 80% of the time. But hey, maybe Elon just needs glasses. I mean, it could change everything. He'd be like, oh my God, that Cybertruck looks like shit. But... But... Elon isn't just spending all that money on attack ads.
He's also dusting off a tactic from the 2024 election, voter self-checkout.
Come on, Elon. It's going to take more than that for Americans to sell their souls to you.
A million dollars? Come on, Elon. You have taken way less for Americans to sell their souls to you, all right? I would have done it for $250. For more on the flood of billionaire money, let's go live to Wisconsin with our very own Grace Kulinsmith. Grace. Grace, Grace. Wait, why are you dressed like the Monopoly man?
Wait, you beat up an old man? Is he okay?
That sounds kind of dangerous.
Okay, Grace, this is awful, all right? Billionaires should not have this level of influence in local elections.
Okay, so Wisconsin doesn't mind the billionaires meddling in the elections?
All right. Oh, this is disgusting.
Showing 401–420 of 1,179 · page 21 of 59
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