Ronny Chieng (performing a bit)

Okay, well, I think we just found the cause of autism. This... This... This is the worst thing I've ever heard a defense secretary do, and I'm including Vietnam. I know it's called an everything bagel, but you're supposed to draw a line somewhere, okay? Anyway, this whole anti-DI thing is getting out of control.

Okay, well, I think we just found the cause of autism. This... This... This is the worst thing I've ever heard a defense secretary do, and I'm including Vietnam. I know it's called an everything bagel, but you're supposed to draw a line somewhere, okay? Anyway, this whole anti-DI thing is getting out of control.

They're pulling books about minorities out of schools, scrubbing stories about women and gay people from websites, and Disney can't even put out a new Snow White without people trying to deport her. And that's just the beginning. To take advantage of this shift in the culture war, the White House has just launched its own streaming service.

They're pulling books about minorities out of schools, scrubbing stories about women and gay people from websites, and Disney can't even put out a new Snow White without people trying to deport her. And that's just the beginning. To take advantage of this shift in the culture war, the White House has just launched its own streaming service.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics drools and sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Welcome back to The Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics drools and sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to sports war.

Oh, yeah? Well, I should go to therapy, seeing as how I'm obsessed with your mom.

Oh, yeah? Well, I should go to therapy, seeing as how I'm obsessed with your mom.

This is totally different, you idiot. Rory was trying to accomplish one of the hardest things in all of sports. You just took a dump in a fitting room.

This is totally different, you idiot. Rory was trying to accomplish one of the hardest things in all of sports. You just took a dump in a fitting room.

Well, I'm not, okay? I don't want to see him happy. Everyone knows that Irish people are at their best when they're depressed. Haven't you ever read James Joyce?

Well, I'm not, okay? I don't want to see him happy. Everyone knows that Irish people are at their best when they're depressed. Haven't you ever read James Joyce?

Moving on, the NBA playoffs start Saturday. But if you're a little girl with a big imagination like Costa, you also have a reason to be excited.

Moving on, the NBA playoffs start Saturday. But if you're a little girl with a big imagination like Costa, you also have a reason to be excited.

This is the dumbest toy ever. I hope it comes with a brawny James doll that you're forced to play with even though it sucks.

This is the dumbest toy ever. I hope it comes with a brawny James doll that you're forced to play with even though it sucks.

Which brings us to our extremely random endorsement deal, Better the Week, presented by Joanne Fabrics. Which athlete will sign the next extremely random endorsement deal? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. They're doing amazing things with wheelchairs now.

Which brings us to our extremely random endorsement deal, Better the Week, presented by Joanne Fabrics. Which athlete will sign the next extremely random endorsement deal? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. They're doing amazing things with wheelchairs now.

Costa, you're out of your mind, all right? This is ruining the game. You can't be doing gender reveals at the plate. Gender reveals are supposed to be for a close group of loved ones that you're hoping to injure with explosives.

Costa, you're out of your mind, all right? This is ruining the game. You can't be doing gender reveals at the plate. Gender reveals are supposed to be for a close group of loved ones that you're hoping to injure with explosives.