Russell Peters
speaker
174 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Russell Peters’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
and she was beautiful. I was just like, what? And I couldn't, I was like, and she had like an all-female security team, and they all had automatic weapons underneath their burkas. But you could see the strap, and you could see the gun sticking out, and I was like, oh, shit. And they didn't look like girls that are like, oh, my God, how do I fire this? They look like, let's go, motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah. But she was really sweet and very kind. They're very sweet. They're very sweet. And they make you feel very comfortable. Every royal person I've ever met is all the same. Those know how to make you feel like, oh, they take your defense down because you're like, hey, don't worry about all the formal stuff. Let's just be people right now. Let's just be people, yeah.
Well, you have the best story ever about King of Jordan. That was cool. That was a cool story. He's my buddy. That's... And then Prince Charles, I met him. What was he like? Same thing? Yeah, he... I meet him at this function in London, and he's like, where's the Indian detective? And I go, oh, he goes, Russell Peters, he talks very like that. And sounds like my dad almost.
Your dad had that, British? British with an Indian twang too, but not heavy, it was pretty good. So we're walking, me and Prince Charles, and I got my hands in front of me, and he's got his bloated hands in front of him. Have you seen his hands? Yes. They're fucking disgusting. In person, it's even worse. Yeah. They look like blood sausages. They do. That's just gout, right?
Yeah. So we're walking, and Camilla's walking behind us. And I go, oh, sir, do you want your wife to walk with us? He goes, oh, no. No. Like, he's a real guy. Yeah, he's a real guy. He's like, I've had enough of that. That was the nicest way of saying, fuck that bitch.
Oh, yeah. It kind of makes me want a sausage. Yeah, Jesus. Like a nice little breakfast sausage right now. Imagine if he pricks his finger, he'll flood the place. Oh, my God. He just deflates.
Have you done this update for fuck's sake? I can't find shit on it anymore. No.
Yeah, it's all clickbait.
Like, so do we.
No.
He's holding water, I think. Oh, that's lame. I mean, I'm saying water, because, you know. Yeah, you look sharp, buddy. I don't want to get killed by the Royal Family, son. Where is this? In England. But, I mean, is this at a royal place? No, it was at a function in London. They wanted me to perform some South Asian cabinet thing, I don't know. And Katy Perry was there. I was there.
Prince Charles was there. Wow, that's wild. And I bombed. You did? Yeah.
i'm pretty sure i bombed anytime anytime there's music i always feel like this is well she didn't perform she was just there but like they were just so stuffy in that room yeah and i said to prince charles hey man i'm a big fan of your family even got your mom on my money um because i was canadian money yeah anyway listen guys you wonder why i bombed did you hear the fucking jokes i said uh are you going to middle east anytime soon
I think so. Well, if it's still there, yeah.
Can you fix it? I think we know who needs to fix it. I'm not going to get into that fucking bag of monkeys there. Well, who's causing it? Okay. Depending on what side of the fence you're on, you're going to think somebody started it.
What do I know? I'm just asking the guy questions.
416?
That's the one. Keeping it real. FaceTiming him? Should I FaceTime him? No, whatever you want.
I told him to ask you where I was to make you believe I wasn't here yet. Yeah, he's here. He was on time and everything.
I was shocked. You know, it's funny. We pull in at 11.59. I go, fuck, I'm dead ass on time.
Showing 41–60 of 174 · page 3 of 9
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