Ryan Hanley

Like a lot of... I could blame my boss.

I could blame the CEO.

But...

that seemingly isn't the right way to go.

So, so I started thinking about, I said to myself, well, these are just data points.

It's how I frame not taking these things personally is like, everything is a data point.

You know, if, if I say something and you smile, it's a data point.

If I, you know, if I, if I, you know, push in one direction and someone pushes back, okay, that's just a data point.

It doesn't mean like you said, it doesn't mean no, it may just mean not yet.

Or it might mean, you know, you,

yes.

And, or maybe, and, um, but it's a data point.

It's not this thing that comes at me.

And like, I found that idea and I don't have it flushed all the way out.

Um, kind of stream of this idea to you, but it is the way that I frame it in my head is like, if I can think of everything as a data point and not as like a no to you, right.

Then it's much easier to like, keep your ears open because like, if I feel like I'm coming to you,

And regardless of how hard I try or how I position it or how perfectly I position the question to keep the door like just a little bit of jar for you and you don't react the way I want, it's still very hard for us not to take that personally.

Like, look how hard I'm trying.

I'm asking open-ended, empathetic questions to you.

Like, why aren't you responding positively to me?