Sabrina Zohar

Well, what comes with commitment?

Commitment comes with having to be accountable to somebody else's emotions and feelings.

You were both that you're married.

I'm in a relationship, you know.

Being committed to somebody is more than just you go to the movies or you go to the park together.

That's holding space.

That's learning to regulate.

That's learning to coexist with somebody else.

And if somebody's not in that space, my partner, he lost his sister three years ago before we met.

She took her own life, unfortunately.

And he really struggled for that year to open up to anybody because he was in so much pain.

Now, is that because he didn't want to?

Absolutely not.

But he was emotionally unavailable because he couldn't hold the capacity for his own emotions.

How is he going to hold it for anybody else?

That's why they're shallow and they don't really go deep because it feels very scary.

And for a lot of people that are emotionally unavailable, it doesn't really matter the attachment style.

Here's the thing that people hate.

A lot of people like to say that the avoidance are the emotionally unavailable.

And while they might be, so are the anxious.