Sam Sanders

That's my first two takes.

You know what I mean?

What's an example of one of those questions?

Yeah.

I also think part of the work when you're dealing with this, people who are close to you who are being financially irresponsible, half the work is trying to help them through it, but the other half is keeping your own peace in the midst of it.

When you see a parent suffering like this, and they're suffering.

They might not think they're suffering, but they are.

When you see a parent going through this, when you see a parent letting go of their life savings...

it can very easily drive you into a state of frenzy or spiral.

You have to not let that happen to you.

Because you won't be able to help them if you're spiraling yourself.

You can't yell at them until they figure it out.

And you can't blame yourself for it happening or it continuing to happen.

It's happening.

I have told people all the time, when you are experiencing an adult in your life who is acting like a child, that is the time at which you most need to be an adult.

Blessings to everyone probably listening to this, but I'm just going to say from my own point of view, when you start to get into the space of primaries and secondaries, that's messy.

And so my first bit of advice is not quite a told you so, but this was bound to get messy.

And I think that

The problem with some of these relationships is that once the hierarchy is set, nothing else is set.

So there probably was never a grounding conversation about how money needs to work in the relationship.