Sam Sanders

If you're really tied to being where you are and you don't want to change that, having to move will make you resent him.

If he's really tied to moving and you make him stay, it'll make him resent you.

And resentment will end a relationship.

So I would say if you can't find something that will lead to neither of you having resentment over this, it might be worth considering ending the relationship.

Yeah.

But it might not be.

No one has an end date.

Yeah.

I have many couples in my life in which one of them is in medical school.

At a certain point, they have to go somewhere for residency and it's usually somewhere else.

But the agreement has always been, we'll do this for you for a few years and then once that's done, we'll move for me in a few years.

So maybe there's a scenario in which you both just put a timeline on it.

We'll try this out, but if at year three or four or five it still does not work, we're going to move somewhere else or move back.

And if that were a part of the conversation, it might help both of you feel like you were getting something out of this arrangement.

I think that there are some red flags for me.

Because if this guy is not just supporting his family to the point where he is going into debt, but also paying a second time for things you've already paid for, I think there's some larger deep-seated issues around money here that haven't really been unpacked.

And I think that there's a lot of pride in there, a lot of maybe male-centric pride that needs to be addressed.

But if he can't address it, I'd say run for the doors.

Okay.

Yeah.