Shelly

I know.

So it's up to us to get her a pregnancy test.

And the school I go to is down the road from the grocery store.

And God forbid, a bunch of 14-year-old girls actually buy a pregnancy test.

So we decide that we're going to steal it.

There's a reason that they store them right in the same area together, right underneath the big window where the manager can see, which you don't think about when you're 14.

The three of us, my good girlfriend, Ashley, and my bad girlfriend, Jenny, we head on down to the grocery store and we're devising our big plan.

We walk in the door.

They're going to do recon and I divert off to go to the deli to get a big pickle out of the big pickle jar because what else am I going to do?

I love the big pickles.

Yeah.

And this was back when you would just get it in a bag and pay for it at the checkout.

So we go to the aisle with the personal care goods.

And we have this big elaborate plan where we lean in and we get it and walk down the hall a little way.

And there's a pet display.

And we make this big show of like leaning in to pretend to look at how cute a dog on a label is to something like, oh, how cute.

While she's shoving it in her back.

Yeah.

We barely make it halfway down another aisle and we get stopped by a manager.

You know, you stole, you come with me right now.