Simon Rex

speaker
317 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Sep 2024 last heard 16 Mar

Simon Rex’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months
1 · Mar OctJan 26AprJulnow

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Mar 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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Oh, so they figured this out. Okay. Wow. I mean, you think these pilots. What was that? Boeing? Those two astronauts are stuck till 2025. You see that?
Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's supposed to be an eight-day trip.
They don't have enough food. The longest delay of all time. Stuck in space with just 96 hours of oxygen. Holy shit. Are they going to die?
He looked like the fucking craziest angry person just screaming at someone on the phone. Does she get mad when you're mad? Is she like... She's always mad. Look at her. Yeah, I got to give a shout out to my buddy. During the crowd strike, you remember that whole thing for a week where they were canceling every flight? Uh-huh. System went down. He got fucked.
He was stuck in Iowa for two days because his flights got screwed up. So he got a hotel. He had to get another flight. His flight home was three grand. So he's like, I'm getting money back from Delta. They're paying for all this. I'm like, good luck. He's like, watch me. That was like three weeks ago. He just got paid. So well done.
Yeah, right.
Way better than Twin Tower Air.
Baby, were you nervous? I mean, that's a cross-country life change.
Oh, classic.
I remember when I first moved here, getting out of the cab. The cab was $45. I was staying at my mom's friends in Brooklyn for the first couple nights because I didn't know anyone or whatever. And she hated this, too. You know, you're barging into someone's New York life. People in New York are already scraping by. And then I'm like, hey, I'm 22, here to do stand-up comedy. But whatever.
So all I had was three 20s. And I remember giving it to the cabbie and I went...
uh it's 45 i got 320s he goes all right thank you and i was like huh and he just took the money and i was that was out of money then that was all i had that was it yeah because i worked $15 tip i worked a restaurant that's that's a fucking hilarious scene in the movie though yoink yoinked me and i he was like well you got a tip but i was like i guess you got a tip he could have given you a 10 it'd be nice a big tip give him a $15 tip i was i was i was a hayseed i was a rube i was a southern you could tell hard yeah you could feel it on me you weren't fucking overalls
A little straw in your mouth. I got the bag with the stick on it.
I grew up in the city, so we don't really have one. We say y'all. Yeah. And we say, we take our T-H's and do a D. How's your mom and them? That's a big New Orleans thing.
It got purchased. That's true. But then I moved to Crown Heights. Landlord died of AIDS. Yeah. Got mugged immediately. And I lived as a Jewish side, Hasidic Jew and a Caribbean black. One big highway going down the middle, and I lived on the black side. So all the black guys thought I was Jewish. They were like, you're on the wrong side, motherfucker.
And I'm like, actually, they don't want me either.
I could pass, but they were like orthodox.
They'd pull up in their minivan and be like, get in, get in. And I was like, I'm not Jewish. And they'd slide that door closed and Hava Nagila.
So true. They look Amish. Very similar.
I did a gig in Lancaster. You ever see the buggies, the horse and buggy out there, the Amish people?
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