Simone Gurindo

It was such an isolating experience.

I felt so alone so immediately, and I couldn't call him.

And if he could call me, it was over these monitored phone calls.

And especially in the beginning, both of us were getting this messaging that we needed to be as quiet as possible about where he was, what he was doing.

So he was so nervous in the beginning.

I remember asking him what he had for breakfast, and he said, I can't talk about that.

And so really, my husband, my closest connection, I just kind of felt like I'd lost him overnight.

And it was confusing, too, because we get this messaging from commanders that, you know, we are essential.

They can do what they do because of you.

They're training and deploying at this breakneck speed, and you are keeping it together.

Like you said, you are the silent scaffolding at home, keeping it together.

Mm-hmm.

And that's true.

And also, really, our primary job is to be silent and invisible and to not let on where he's going.

And there's really so many facts of our lives we can't share with our loved ones.

And that can make you feel pretty invisible.

Well, luckily, I didn't know anybody except the woman across the street who was a wife in the same unit, and she was as new to this world as I was.

And we had gone to the deployment drop-off together and seen each other cry, but otherwise knew nothing about each other.

And that first week after our husbands left, I remember looking through the blinds, watching her drive to the store, watching her wash the dishes.

It sounds a bit stalkerish.