Sonja Lyubomirsky

speaker

1,409 appearances 3 recordings 3 series first heard Feb 2026 last heard 25 Jun

Sonja Lyubomirsky’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.

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Modern Wisdom · Why Nobody Feels Loved Anymore - Sonja Lyubomirsky - #1115 · 25 Jun 2026 podcast

Because we think, oh, I know everything about them.

And of course you don't.

Because every day we're having new fears and dreams and self-doubts, right?

And regrets.

So stopping being curious.

But the other thing is, yeah, just kind of feeling, yeah, like that you're invisible.

They don't, they're not noticing the little things.

You know, when we ask people what makes them feel loved, a lot of them were those little things like, like I remember being at a party and friends would bring me like a piece of fruit or a water or a blanket.

And before I even knew I wanted those things, they're like, Sonia, you need this water.

You need a blanket because you seem cold.

And I'm like, oh, I didn't even know I needed a blanket.

And so like when you feel loved is when people, you feel loved when people are doing, they're noticing you and they're noticing things that you need before you even realize you need them.

So those little things when, and when your partner, your best friend sort of stops noticing those things, you don't feel loved.

So I partnered with a love scientist to write this book because I'm really more of a happiness scientist.

I don't think I can answer this question, but I will tell you a really interesting finding that we do talk about, which is how do you respond to good versus bad news in a relationship, right?

You come home and you say, hey, honey, um,

I got laid off or, you know, something bad happened.

My car, the car broke down and everyone kind of knows how to respond to bad news or sort of something bad that happened.

But what if you come home and you say, hi honey, I got a new job offer in New York, right?

So it turns out how we respond to good news is a better predictor of relationship duration than how we respond to bad news.

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