Sophie Smith

We sort of ignored him for three days.

And spent, you know, looked after, were worrying about Evan.

And then Jasper did brilliantly.

And I have to say, even after Evan died, I 100% believed that Jasper would be fine.

Jasper was strong.

Jasper was the biggest as well.

And he was... Nothing was wrong with Jasper.

His heart was perfect.

His brain was perfect.

His guts were doing, you know, he was taking my milk and all the digestion was all fine.

He was pooing and weeing.

We were changing his nappy and there was nothing sweeter than like changing, going, oh, Jasper's done a poo, we can change his nappy.

Because after Evan died, I was able to then, because Jasper was stronger, we weren't able to hold him, but we were able to do the cares.

So to change his nappy, wash his face.

Yeah.

And, you know, there were times when it was amazing because we felt like he really knew us.

And there were times when things were going badly or, you know, the doctors would be worried because all his numbers would have crashed and they were fiddling around trying to, you know, I don't know.

change things in his treatment.

And everyone would be worried because the numbers were wrong.

And then I remember one day Ash just putting his hand in to the humidity crib as they were dealing with him and just stroked his head.