Sophie Smith

And as I was holding him,

I looked down, his eyes were closed.

I looked down and he opened his eyes and he looked in my eyes and he closed his eyes.

And at that moment, Ash was looking away, looking at the machines that he was still hooked up to and looking at his numbers.

And I said, Ash, he's opened his eyes.

He looked at me, he looked at me.

And then I actually even questioned myself because Ash looked back and there he was with his eyes closed again.

And I thought...

Maybe I'm making this up.

And he did it again.

He opened his eyes and urged Thor.

And then he closed his eyes and he died.

What is home?

We spent the day and the night at the hospital.

And we spent the night in a room which is a room which I was really looking forward.

It's a room where you stay with your baby or your babies.

the night before you go home, so you can have a night to practice being on your own with your baby.

Because after your baby's been in the hospital for a long time, it's scary to take your baby home, you know, from suddenly going from other people caring for your sick baby to you caring for your very fragile baby.

Anyway, I remember this room and I thought to myself, I wanted to spend Christmas in that room.

Because by this stage it was October, it was 16th of October that Jasper died and I worked out his due date was on the 10th of December.