Spencer Agnew
speaker
763 appearances
4 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard 19 Sep
Spencer Agnew’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Sep 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I played a female character. It's fully the scene from White Lotus. I'm playing something new. I played a female character. We're a five person party, three men and two women in real life. In character, it's three women and two men because of me. Because of me. Thanks for clarifying. Because of Woke. Because of Woke.
As the years have gone by, I've started to notice little things here and there in how the NPCs treat me. I'm trying to play this character as kind of a take charge type person, but the NPCs tend to kind of brush me off when I feel like they shouldn't. I'm a powerful sorcerer with a kind of dark reputation, so I would expect they'd show me some respect, but often, well, they don't.
and it feels like sometimes certain other PCs just get a little more recognition, a little more respect for reasons I can't quite put my finger on. I've brought it up to the DM a couple times, and he's always had a reason. Well, this NPC talked to you like that because of X reason, or when the Barbarian in the group did X, that really earned the King's respect because of Y reason.
It's like each individual instance had a reason that could be valid, and no one instance is a big deal. But it's just that it kept happening. I've played with this DM before and never felt like this before, so it was kind of baffling to me.
Then some more time went by and I started noticing that NPCs would talk like that to other female characters too, and it was always the male characters who seemed to get the respect. And at first I was like, nah, that's crazy.
No. No. And at first I was like, sexism doesn't exist though. It's the children who are wrong. The DM is an old friend of mine and I know he's not sexist or anything, but once I noticed it, I kept noticing it. And I didn't say anything because come on, how whiny would it be for a straight white dude to complain about low-grade fantasy sexism?
Honestly, sometimes I'd notice a little thing and be sure it was sexism, and then the next time I'd be sure I must be imagining it. Like an NPC might talk to one of the male characters before us, or he might give them more respect than us.
I mentioned to one of the other guys, who I've been friends with since high school, that I felt like my character was getting shortchanged sometimes, not mentioning sexism as the cause. And he kind of shrugged it off, so I let it drop. This Sunday, as everyone was leaving, I found myself alone in the parking lot with one of the real-life women of the group.
Yet another NPC had low-level disrespected our characters in favor of one of the guys in this game, and it was on my mind. I said something like, is it just me, or does person A and person B, the guys, though I didn't say that, get just a little bit more respect than we do? She just shrugged and said, it's a man's world.
Also, it's funny how they're like, man, this world is sexist. And I'm like, it's the guy DMing. Yeah, it's that guy. It's him. They're talking about it as if the fantasy world is like part of. It just be how it is. It's like, yeah, there's nothing we can do about it. How can we enact change in this fantasy world? Talk to Greg. Tell him to stop.
Greg is the one actively making these decisions every day. Oh, man. We talked a little more because I wasn't sure she was serious at first, but she was. And she didn't seem particularly upset or bent out of shape about it. As far as she was concerned, this is just how it goes. First, I felt immediately relieved. Like, I'm not crazy. It wasn't all in my head.
Like I said earlier, I didn't bring up sexism to her. She brought it up first. And it felt great to have my perceptions validated. But I've really been dwelling on it since then. Like, she was so matter-of-fact about it. It bothers me that it must happen all the time to women and I just don't notice it. I mean, obviously this is a really small sample size.
The DM whose NPCs act that way and the other guy players who don't notice it. And obviously I don't really understand what a woman goes through. I don't want to pretend like my little thing here is on the same level as what real women experience every day. It's really her reaction that stuck with me. The sort of welcome to the club vibe I got.
Honestly, if this is normal for women, I don't know how they deal with it. I find it low-grade infuriating, and I only have to deal with it every now and then in the fantasy world. I think this guy just became a feminist.
Think about how infuriating it is for all the women at the table for all the men to constantly not notice that it's happening until you have to pretend to be a woman for a little bit, and then you're like, something's not right. Yeah. And it's affecting me. Oh my God. There's one comment on it. That was it. There's no update. One comment that kind of represents all the comments in this.
Welcome to the club, it sucks, but of course, if you were to push back against all those little slights, you'd be painted as a huge bitch who gets offended at everything. It's exhausting to navigate, so you probably can see why a lot of women just deal with it. I don't think your male friends are sexist, but there's some sexist behaviors that are just so normalized that men don't think about it.
Hopefully you can take this experience and be a bit more mindful of your own interactions with women in the real world. That sums it up.
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, that's pretty good. D&D is cool in that it lets you get outside your perspective sometimes, but that is also a dangerous thing, as you can see with Dylan. Yeah. And birds. Dylan and birds.
Yeah, also... He hates you. Yeah. About every NPC, though. It'd be funny if he talked to her and he's like, does it feel like we get distracted? She's like, no, all of us are fine. He just hates you. Yeah.
I feel very respected. Everyone's respected except for you. Oh, man. Well... This has been a blast. Oh, thank you guys so much for having me on.
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