Spencer Matthews

It was just, it felt dangerous, unnecessary, stupid, foolish, risky.

I was just thinking about my kids.

I was like, you know, what if I actually do get taken by one of these things?

What a stupid way to die, right?

Like nobody's forcing me to be in this water.

And then, at the risk of sounding overly confident or even arrogant, which I hope it doesn't come across, you have to remind yourself that you're the guy for this.

I know I can do it.

Look at what's been achieved in the last 19 days.

This is the person I've always wanted to be.

Of course it's going to be hard, but don't be too surprised.

That's why we're here.

And be calm and focused one stroke after the next and just handle it.

If you're not going to handle it, nobody's going to handle it for you.

And you can choose to suffer for two hours worrying about all kinds of stuff, or you can just try your absolute best to be calm.

And that's really hard.

I've no idea.

Marrying an amazing woman who I want to be better for, I think, has been very helpful.

I've always wanted to.

No, but genuinely, the person I used to be isn't good enough for my wife.

You know.