Spencer Matthews

I think it's fair to say we certainly felt for a long time, although we were never able to prove anything, that his death could have absolutely been avoided.

And the only reason we...

would ever think anything like that was just the sheer amount of people that told us that who were there.

We're not the kind of family to seek justice or revenge for an accident.

You know, obviously climbing Everest is a very difficult thing to do.

um you are risking your life and had it just felt like a mistake on his part or an accident that would have been the end of it but it wasn't it it was you know that there was certainly you know many reports of um things being done in a way that the where his death could have been avoided you know problems with the oxygen tanks not enough oxygen on the mountain blah blah blah

So, you know, I kind of grew up, obviously not at the age of 10, but, you know, by the time I hit 15 or was old enough to drink regularly, I absolutely did.

And nobody ever forced me to drink and took me a while to actually couple the two things together.

You know, I'd spoken to some therapists who absolutely believe that my excessive drinking could have been

certainly in part due to trauma suffered at a young age and not processing it.

I was always slightly uncomfortable with coupling those two things together because I enjoyed drinking to excess.

Nobody held a gun to my head and I wasn't always thinking about Michael and the potential injustice of, is injustice a word?

Yeah, I suppose you know what I mean, of the situation.

But worse than that, there was blame, I suppose, attributed in it all.

It didn't feel like a mistake.

I think if your loved one got hit by a bus, you're not going to necessarily blame anyone in the situation.

I carried a lot of resentment and I carried a lot of hatred towards people at quite a young age and probably felt like my...

pain was worse than yours.

So I developed a kind of lack of empathy quite early on for people's problems.

I've never felt like an empathetic person.