Spencer Matthews

And I wonder if it's because when something terrible happens to you like that,

Do you just become slightly shut off to other people's pain because you feel like you've gone through it or not?

I don't know.

I've actually not spoken about that to a trained professional, so I wouldn't know, but it kind of makes sense to me.

Yes.

But also it's a slightly...

It's a slightly juvenile way of looking at it because, of course, all pain is subjective.

Exactly.

But all pain is obviously subjective and deeply personal.

And everyone listening to this has probably lost someone in their life.

So my situation is not special.

It's just I'm trying to understand why I turned out a certain way.

Yeah, he was a huge hero to me.

I was very young.

I didn't believe it when I first heard it.

You know, my parents told me he's gone missing on the mountain, you know, and then subsequently that we probably won't see him again.

And I just thought, what a load of rubbish.

I didn't believe it for a second.

Then, of course, nobody at the memorial again, like, you know, where is he?

And then, of course, you grow out of these feelings that you'll see him again, obviously realizing that you definitely won't.