Stace Don

I was scrolling through Facebook and it just has another child with another woman and it was a girl and I couldn't live with myself.

I saw her picture and I was like, I have to go home, please.

Yeah, he was here, but he wasn't physically there.

It was because every time I went to the shop or something, like, so I knew people around where I lived, but because I was isolated in Essex and then I'd gone through all that trauma and abuse, that when I went back to my mum's, I just lived in my bedroom because every time I went out, everyone was like, oh, who's the dad?

Who's the dad?

And, like, it was just shit, you know?

Like, I couldn't get away from it.

So I used to just hide, but...

I'd find myself trying to count her fingers and her toes in my belly and stuff, just trying to convince myself that everything's going to be all right.

And I didn't even know where they were going to be.

I rung the police.

Yeah.

And then they've come out, did a statement, and then they said that they had to come out and take Katie's DNA, take my DNA, take my mum's DNA.

But I shut myself off from my mum because I knew the police were going to tell her why they'd taken the DNA, do you know what I mean?

And then next time I saw my mum, it was like nothing happened, like nothing had been said.

So this is why you're very conflicted as to... Yeah, because I just felt really isolated and I just didn't know what was going on.

Not probably, no.

I'm 36.

So even 18 years down the line, it's still... It's still all wrong and some things I'm still learning to process and trying to understand.

Rape, incest.