Steph Claire Smith

Every phase has its kind of like ups and downs.

Thanks.

Don't remember you love the shit out of him.

Honestly, sometimes when I've had a bit of a blow up at him and he, like, is so lovey two minutes later and just wants to be, I, like, when I'm still at this point, I'll literally yell and be like, why do you want to be around me right now?

Because you just gave me those words.

Like, I'll say those words.

Yeah, I know.

I know that now, but in the moment.

My son loves getting yelled at.

He says, yell at me.

And I've heard about this with kids, like neurodivergent kids.

I have no doubt that Javier's ADHD.

It's like it's cocaine.

Yeah.

I feel that.

But I think what I wanted to say with the whole rage thing is I think it's not just in the moment where I'm like, oh, ew, who are you?

Like that's heavy.

Like I don't like that.

But I think especially with motherhood, it's something I've always wanted and I think because of all of the things that I love about like childlike things like music and dancing and colouring in and playing and sports and all this stuff,

I like almost get angry at myself for not enjoying the moments more because I'm like, this is what you fucking love.