Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile

speaker

1,222 appearances 107 recordings 4 series first heard Jun 2022 last heard 14 Sep

Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 83 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 26.

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TED Talks Daily · Talks on Love Playlist (1/5): Your relationship expectations could be holding you back | Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile · 12 Jun 2026 podcast

It's a reality competition show where the prize was the love of Flavor Flav.

I think about relationships a lot, and something that comes up a lot in my work is this belief that relationships are hard.

And we believe that due to one primary reason.

Our metric of success is based on what we've seen everyone else do.

Imagine how you would honestly feel if you heard the following about another couple.

OK, I said honestly, OK?

I heard they don't even sleep in the same bed anymore.

They claim they never want to get married.

I don't think they ever plan to live together."

Would you think to yourself, it sounds like they have some serious issues?

If we're honest, a lot of us would.

And it's not because we're not open-minded, but we've been taught that these are warning signs for a relationship in trouble.

And while they can be for a lot of people, that is not always the case.

Relationship experts have found that one of the primary obstacles that couples face are their own expectations.

When we compare ourselves to societal norms, we can develop a sense of resentment toward our partner, as well as a sense of shame for how we ourselves are coming up short.

Now, before we really get into this, I have to say that some of us have to reckon with the fact that we may be with the wrong person.

And that will be clear if your deepest desire is that your partner change fundamental aspects of who they are.

You really want them to be a different person.

But if you're confident that you're with the right person,

and you just still feel frustrated and dissatisfied, we may find that rejecting everything we've known about good relationships is the key to actually having one.

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