Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile

speaker

1,222 appearances 107 recordings 4 series first heard Jun 2022 last heard 14 Sep

Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 83 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 26.

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TED Talks Daily · Talks on Love Playlist (1/5): Your relationship expectations could be holding you back | Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile · 12 Jun 2026 podcast

I work with couples every day, and I help them through relational crises.

I remember I was working with an engaged couple for about a year, and when they first came to me, they said, we're 95 percent good, we just want to address the five percent.

And I hear something to this effect often when I first meet a couple.

It turns out that five percent was more like 75 percent and increasing.

They were struggling to make a blended family work.

One partner had kids, the other one had never lived with kids before, and they moved in together after only knowing each other for three months.

One time I went on vacation, and by the time I got back, they'd called off their wedding.

But why?

Their love was honestly, it was evident, and they were not cruel to each other.

Their issue was figuring out how to continue building their romantic relationship while also figuring out how to raise teenagers who, to be honest, already had two very involved parents.

They weren't really in need of a third.

After a particularly big blowup over chores and responsibilities, I finally asked a dangerous question.

I said, do you think that living together has hurt or helped your relationship more?

We took a few weeks to explore that question, and they decided to test it out.

They got a short-term lease on an apartment nearby for the partner who didn't have kids.

And we were really strategic.

We made a contract.

Let's talk about dates, let's talk about expectations while you guys are living separately.

And by the time they came back to me, I'd never seen them communicate so well.

They said that they were looking forward to every weekend that they got to spend together.

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