Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile

speaker

1,222 appearances 107 recordings 4 series first heard Jun 2022 last heard 14 Sep

Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 83 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 26.

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TED Talks Daily · Talks on Love Playlist (1/5): Your relationship expectations could be holding you back | Stephanie R. Yates-Anyabwile · 12 Jun 2026 podcast

It felt like a vacation, because they would spend the entire week planning their time together and savoring every moment they had together.

They also found that their individual relationships with the kids drastically improved without the pressure of trying to transition them into an entirely new household dynamic, especially when they only had a couple years left in the house.

So at this point, some of you may be asking yourselves, what kind of couples therapist recommends that couples live apart?

That's a fair question, and to be honest, for a majority of my clients, this solution would not work.

And that is the point.

When we're thinking about our relationships, we have to avoid focusing on what is normal.

There's no such thing as normal when we're talking about two unique individuals with their own backgrounds and their own values.

For this particular couple, they had to figure out a way to separate their romantic relationship from what really boiled down to roommate issues.

And they had a circumstance that supported the option to live apart.

One conflict that comes up a lot in my work is the difference in values between arriving on time and arriving looking and feeling your best.

Neither one is wrong.

But I had a great model for this with my parents.

When I was growing up, we drove absolutely everywhere separately.

everywhere.

You know, if you're going to be a little bit late, you arrive with my mom, and if you're arriving on time, you go with my dad.

They had too many vans for only two kids.

OK?

We didn't go anywhere together.

And one time, when I was about 12 years old, one of my closest friends finally worked up the courage to ask me about it.

And I could tell she was so nervous, like I was about to reveal to her that my parents were secretly separated and she'd just figured it out.

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