Stuart Shanker

speaker

1,736 appearances 3 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2022 last heard 3 Jul

Stuart Shanker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 305a: Stuart Shanker on What Self-Regulation Is, Why It Matters, and How to Help Our Children (and Ourselves) Do It Better · 3 Jul 2026 podcast

Okay, so I won't repeat what Mum called the kid, but she thought she was an ungrate ungrateful little such and such 'cause Mum had taken off her lunch hour.

But she said to herself, The doctors the therapist said that I ha I I'm supposed to go out into the home, do some deep breathing and and not say anything.

And so she did, and she came back into the room and the kid was sitting on the bed.

And I won't go into all the details, but the kid had blocked, had broken down what I was talking about before that connection between child and parent.

It's called an interbrain connection.

And so we want to restore that somehow.

And the best way we can do it is through physical touch.

But when a kid is overwrought, they don't want to be touched.

So you have to get permission.

Anyways, she went through some steps that we explained and got the permission, started to scratch the child.

and the child laid down.

At this point nobody's saying anything.

And mom is gently s soothing m stroking the child's arm.

And then after just fifteen minutes, the kid says, I have to go to sleep now.

These were fights that were going because what's happened is we've turned she's turned off the alarm system.

And as mom is walking out the door, she turns off the light, she's walking out the door, she hears a little voice say, I love you, mommy.

Now that's very important because what it means is that this child has in fact regressed to infancy.

And what she's now experienced and hasn't experienced in a long time is the security that her caregivers gave her when she was an infant.

The security of being held love protected.

And what this does is it does turn off the alarm system, it does turn off the it does turn off the stress response, something called the HBA pathway.

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