Tanya Coons

speaker

3,654 appearances 23 recordings 1 series first heard Feb 2016 last heard Aug 2022

Tanya Coons’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Fighting the good fight · 20 May 2019 podcast

Sounds like a bit of healthy sparring. matched

Tanya? matched

Um, there are a lot of people who do that. matched

And um I sort of look upon that when I'm coaching people, fights are often about negotiating, right? matched

And often people will start with one viewpoint and a different viewpoint. matched

So we've got, you know, um it's like two different ends of the poll. matched

We've got side side A and side B. matched

And it's usually about we get one person's right and the other person's wrong. matched

Okay, and that that's not particularly helpful and somebody winds up having to give in or acquiesce. matched

Um, a very wise person once said to me, Do you want to be right or do you want to be friends? matched

And uh that really, really stuck with me because it's not really about being right, is it, the argument? matched

There's a problem there or a wish or a desire that somebody has. matched

So we need to be curious about what is it that this this person's trying matched

trying to say to me. matched

Are they point scoring? matched

Because it could be like, are you just giving me an opinion and uh I'm going to choose to disagree with that. matched

Or is it that they they have a wish or a problem that needs solving? matched

In which case, what's one step towards that person that you can make? matched

So if each of you start taking one step towards each other, you meet in the middle where it's a win and a win for both of you, not a matched

A win and a loss. matched

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