Terry Real

You know, they're rich, they're powerful.

That's great in this place.

I like pleasure.

There's a deeper pleasure that I call relational joy.

And you get that as a parent.

Sometimes your kids are gratifying.

Sometimes you want to throw them through the goddamn window.

But if anybody said, hey, we could do a time machine and you don't have to have this, I'd deck you because there's a deeper down joy in just being there and being connected, just being in the relationship.

And that's been lost in our culture.

We live in an anti-relational culture.

narcissistic culture, and even though some of the terms of patriarchy have moved, the narcissism and the lack of relationality has not moved.

It's just a different variation.

It looks like a negotiation and not a demand.

Could you tell me more?

Yeah, because even in our, I'm going to push us, even in our talk, I don't care about the feelings.

I care about the connection.

What will make us men healthy is connection.

So, yeah, great, have your feelings, and then what are you going to do with them?

I used to have no feelings, and now I have feelings all over the place, and I don't give a shit about you and your feelings.

I want you to pay attention to me and my feelings.