Tina Payne Bryson

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848 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Mar 2020 last heard May 2020

Tina Payne Bryson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 207: Dr. Tina Payne Bryson on The Power of Showing Up · 5 May 2020 podcast

the pouting turns into more of like a little, you know, sad face.

And um and I could say, yeah, it feels it feels hard when we're disappointed sometimes.

You know, you really wanted it and it's not gonna happen.

And so you just feel disappointed and it's totally okay to feel disappointed.

Uh you know, I don't buy the popcorn still, that does it's not a it's not about permissiveness, but it's really getting to what their internal experience is.

Um this same kid when he was little, he was in the bathtub and didn't want to get out.

He was four and I was like, It's time to get out and he didn't want to get out and

I could say to him, Okay, well you can either get out or I will help you get out.

And as I'm pulling him out and he's screaming and yelling, this is so hard 'cause it's so that's so that screaming and yelling um nervous system arousal is really contagious.

um to say to him, You're so disappointed that bathtime is over.

You're just mad you have to get out.

I know it's really hard.

And so it's really just about

attuning to what they are experiencing and seeing what's really happening.

That doesn't mean we don't address behaviors.

That doesn't mean we don't have boundaries.

I can address those behaviors later in the moment.

And that's that's the no drama discipline book, which maybe we can have a conversation about at another time, which is that the whole point and purpose of discipline is to teach so that they have the skills and capacity to be self disciplined, but they have to be in a regulated

brain state in order to learn.

So really connecting with them and and showering them with being seen and then eventually soothed is what actually helps, you know, you be a more effective disciplinarian.

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