TPP 207: Dr. Tina Payne Bryson on The Power of Showing Up
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
58 min
2 speakers
6 chapters
transcribed 5 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What does “showing up” for our kids actually mean?
When we are in distress, that is when we most need each other. And so your kids may be acting in ways that are more difficult right now. And you might be having a more difficult time as a parent as well. And this is when your kid needs you the most.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. My guest today is likely no stranger to you, because I am thrilled to be talking with psychotherapist and author Tina Payne Bryson. Tina is the co-author of some of my favorite groundbreaking brain science and parenting books, including the whole brainchild and no drama discipline, which she co-wrote with Dr. Dan Siegel. She's also the founder and executive director of the Center for Connection, a multidisciplinary clinical practice, and of the Play Strong Institute, a center devoted to the study, research, and practice of play therapy through a neurodevelopmental lens.
Tina's new book is called The Power of Showing Up, and it's perhaps my most favorite of all of the books she and Dan have written together. It focuses on what I believe so deeply is important with our differently wired kids that we truly show up for them. Little warning, this is a long episode, but that's because we do a deep dive into what it looks like to show up for our kids and the theory of secure attachment and how it affects our children on a neurological level. What I love so much about this conversation is that Tina offers an incredibly positive and hopeful message to parents, encouraging us to be more forgiving and generous with ourselves in order to show up for our children in the best possible, but not necessarily the perfect way.
This episode sheds some insight into just how to do that. And be sure to listen all the way to the end because we touch upon some. Some very relevant challenges for parents who are listening to this in the midst of the COVID nineteen pandemic. And now here is my conversation with Tina. Hello Tina, welcome to the podcast.
Hi, so good to be with you, Debbie. I look forward to our conversation.
Me too, and I feel like this conversation is a is a long time coming and there's so much that we could talk about, but I'm really grateful to be I don't know if I'm even introducing you to my community. I think everyone knows who you are, but to be sharing your your new work with them and just have this conversation. So I always ask my guests to, you know, tell us a little bit about who they are in the world as a way to get started. Maybe because I've already introduced you kind of professionally, how would you just introduce yourself in terms of, you know, your why maybe for what you do?
You know, I never meant to write books or be a professional speaker or own a clinical practice. Those were never goals for me. My goal always, always growing up for all the way into my married years, early married years, um was to be a stay at home mom. That's what I wanted to do more than anything. That was like to me the best thing I you know, my best job. And uh it turned out we moved to California and I I was home with my firstborn, my eighteen month old, and my husband who's an English professor was like, We can't afford to live here unless you work and I was like, But that's not part of the play. Um, you know, we waited to have kids until he finished his dissertation so that I could s you know, stay home.
So um I said, Okay, well fine, if I have to work then I need to get a PhD really fast because um I'm gonna be a professor so I can be home with the kids more and that's kinda how This uh this journey started, although I will say a little bit before that I had heard Bruce Perry speak. And my brain lit up. And uh I just couldn't learn enough about the brain. And I'm such a person that is just naturally super curious and I always wanna understand the why. And So when I started the PhD program in social work I was really frustrated uh as a grad student because I kept wondering the why and I never could get satisfactory answers.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What does “showing up” for our kids actually mean?
0:00–6:10
2
How did Tina’s personal journey lead her to study attachment science?
6:10–11:41
3
Why did the authors feel the new book *The Power of Showing Up* had to be written?
11:41–23:31
4
What are the four “S’s” of secure attachment and how do they work?
23:31–36:47
5
How can parents repair a rupture after a mistake and still foster security?
36:47–51:45
6
What practical strategies help parents soothe a distressed child in the moment?
51:45–58:15
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids